Eye Vitamins for Lasting Vision
Eye care is better than eye cure. So do take good care of your eyes. Proper eye health care and a vitamin and mineral rich diet can help slow down the processes associated with aging such as macular degeneration.
Vitamins A, E, and C all appear to offer benefits for overall eye health. Such eye vitamins are a rich source of antioxidants. Antioxidants fight the effects of oxidation that contributes to the destruction of healthy tissues which results in macular degeneration.
Minerals help the body metabolize vitamins. Some crucial minerals for eye health are zinc and selenium. Other crucial supplements are Lutein, Bioflavonoids and carotenoid. Minerals and supplements can make a tremendous impact on eye health and prevent diseases like macular degeneration and dry eyes.
Sources of Minerals and Vitamins
Common food items like oranges, strawberries and broccoli are a rich source of Vitamin C., while carrots, sweet potatoes and liver are a great source of Vitamin A. Vitamin E rich foods include nuts such as almond and hazelnuts. Zinc can be found in red meat, oysters and wheat, while Lutein can be sourced from spinach and collard greens. Bio-flavonoids are found in food rich in Vitamin C.
Besides there are great food supplements available over the counter or online through websites such as VisiVite.com.
Eye exercises are beneficial because they reduce eyestrain, help the eyes work together and keep eye muscles strong and flexible. Eye exercises may also be helpful in some problems associated with working long hours on a computer. Other conditions that appear to benefit from eye exercises are headaches, fatigue, concentration problems, and vision-related learning disabilities.
Some Helpful Exercises -
20-20-20 rule
• After every 20 minutes of looking into the computer screen, turn away your
head and try to look at any object placed at least 20 feet away. This
changes the focal length of your eyes, a must-do for tired eyes.
• Try and blink your eyes 20 times in succession, to moisten them.
• Time permitting of course, one should walk 20 paces after every 20 minutes
of sitting in one particular posture. Helps blood circulation for the entire body.
Palming
Sit straight at your workstation and rub your palms against each other till you feel them warm. The warmth of your palms helps soothe and relax tired eyes. Then, lightly cup your eyes with your palms and relax for 60 seconds. Repeat this exercise two to three times whenever your eyes feel tired, or as often as you want.
Splash water on your face
Splash water on your face while closing your eyes. This has an overall relaxing effect and helps you feel refreshed.
Use tea bags
Place the refrigerated tea bags on your eyes for a few minutes as you relax. This not only soothes tired eyes, but also reduces puffiness.
Take every possible care, but don’t delay visiting a specialist when one or more of the following vision problems occur:
• Squinting, rubbing or excessive eye blinking
• Headaches, clumsiness, bumping into objects
• Dizziness, hand/eye coordination difficulties or lack of concentration
• Holding objects too close to view.
Of course, with the right ingredients in your diet, along with regular eye exercises, you can enjoy healthy eyes and a clear vision, lifelong.
II. The Concept of Eye Exercise
The concept of vision exercise might not occur to a lot of people, but think about this. The very concept of working out in itself is a recent idea. Your grandpa or grandma probably didn’t go to the gymnasium to "sweat it out". Even more so, they also didn’t involve aerobics or stretching routines to their day to day chores.
Nevertheless, it is important to keep not just your body fit, but to do exercises that keep your eyes healthy as well.
A few simple exercises a day go a long way to prevent you from contracting any dreaded or unwanted eye diseases and conditions.
Laziness to do these exercises will only result in many problematic eye ailments that will cause immense amounts of discomfort, unnecessary time at the eye specialist’s place, and spending tons of your precious money treating the problem that could have been prevented in the first place.
It really doesn’t have to be difficult, you know.
What you can do
Try this:
Focus on any item towards the right of what you can see in front of you.
Don’t lose sight of the object as you start revolving your head to the opposite direction as much as you can.
Do this again but in the other direction.
Now do it upwards, downwards, and even in the top-left, top-right, bottom left and bottom right direction.
That would be one full set. Try this at least 2 to 3 sets a day.
For the first few days, you might feel some aching, not unlike muscle aches after a gym workout. This is usual. Just be sure not to over-exert yourself.
Try this activity out and your eyes will remain strong and healthy. And if you follow a proper regime, you might not need any eye glasses or contact lenses.
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Monday, January 12, 2009
HEALTH - EYE CARE - 12
Do I REALLY Need an Eye Exam?
It is a real shame when a patient comes to the office for a ‘first exam’ and already has damage to their vision. Many eye problems that can lead to damage or loss of vision can be slowed down, or even prevented if caught early enough. So the real key is to inform people about when to start, and how often to repeat eye exams. Luckily, the American Academy of Ophthalmology has standards for adult eye exams.
For adults, it is recommended that patients over 40 receive eye exams every 2 years. After 50, yearly exams are necessary. While some people wonder if that frequency of exams is necessary, we know that certain disease states will progress significantly in that amount of time. In fact, once a patient is diagnosed with glaucoma, they must be examined every 3 MONTHS!!
Glaucoma, cataracts and macular degeneration all begin to show up when patients are in their 40’s and 50’s. This is why the yearly exams are a must. I have 2 patients in my practice that never needed glasses until they were in their 40’s. At that time, they began to need reading glasses, so they bought them at the local dollar store. Fast-forward 25 years. On a whim, these patients decided to come for an actual eye exam. They were unpleasantly surprised to find that they had lost 80-90% of their vision to glaucoma!! An entirely preventable/treatable disease, that went undetected due to lack of routine eye exams.
And for the kids….an eye exam before the age of 6 is best. School screenings are fairly good, but sometimes subtle problems that can become larger issues can be missed. And the window of opportunity to fix those problems closes around the age 0f 8 or 9. If everything is normal, then exams every 3 to 5 years is probably acceptable.
So….kids AND adults need regular eye exams!! Call your ophthalmologist today!!
II. Dry Eye – Causes, Symptoms And Treatment
Dry eye produces discomfort and reduces vision when the tear film becomes chronically table or unavailable thereby leading to dryness of the conjunctiva and cornea. Sometimes, a person with a dry eye will have excess tears running down the cheeks, which may seem confusing. People who have Chronic Dry Eyes are diagnosed by a doctor and usually have a decrease in the amount of tear production. Many people also find their eyes become irritated when reading or working on a computer. Stopping periodically to rest and blink keeps the eyes more comfortable In addition, because these emergency tears tend to arrive too late, the eye needs to regenerate and treatment is necessary.
Dry eyes are caused by a lack of tears. A sad movie or a wedding can make your tears flow. But tears aren't produced only on those occasions. It is usually caused by a problem with the quality of the tear film that lubricates the eyes. Tears are a combination of water, for moisture; oils, for lubrication; mucus, for even spreading; and antibodies and special proteins, for resistance to infection. People with dry eyes often feel discomfort in a variety of forms. Sometimes even if the eyes are dry they may feel as though they 'water'; this is due to poorly spreading tears.
When your eyes become irritated by dust or are bothered by wind, smoke or fumes, extra tears form to help wash away the foreign material. In response, the eye is flooded with tears to try to compensate for the underlying dryness. However, these tears are mostly water and do not have the lubricating qualities or the rich composition of normal tears. The eye depends on the flow of tears to provide constant moisture and lubrication to maintain vision and comfort. Dry eye syndrome is a chronic lack of sufficient lubrication and moisture in the eye.
Causes of Dry Eyes
The common Causes of Dry Eyes :
· Side effects of using certain medications such as antihistamines and birth control pills.
· An eye injury or other problem with your eyes or eyelids (like a drooping eyelid or bulging eyes ).
· Diseases that affect the ability to make tears, such as Sjogren's syndrome , rheumatoid arthritis and collagen vascular diseases.
· Smoking or second-hand smoke exposure.
· A very dry environment - try using a humidifier.
· Cold or allergy medicines.
Symptoms of Dry Eyes
Some common Symptoms of Dry Eyes :
· Itching .
· Discomfort in the eyes.
· Stringy mucus in or around your eyes.
· Burning.
· Itchiness.
· Irritation.
· Redness.
· Sensitivity to light .
· Difficulty wearing contact lenses.
· Increased eye irritation from smoke or wind.
Treatment of Dry Eyes
Here is the list of the methods for treating Dry Eyes :
· Other medications, including topical steroids, may also be beneficial in some cases.
· Anti-inflammatory medications, such as steroids, antimetabolites and cyclosporine A, as well as tetracyclines and hormones, are used to treat more severe forms of dry eye surgical techniques used to preserve tears include punctal cautery, punctal plugs, and tarsorrhaphy
· Excessive air movement dries out your eyes avoid having excessive air movement by decreasing the speed of ceiling fans and/or oscillating fans.
· If you notice your eyes are dry mainly while you are reading or watching TV, taking frequent breaks to allow your eyes to rest and become moist and comfortable again is helpful.
It is a real shame when a patient comes to the office for a ‘first exam’ and already has damage to their vision. Many eye problems that can lead to damage or loss of vision can be slowed down, or even prevented if caught early enough. So the real key is to inform people about when to start, and how often to repeat eye exams. Luckily, the American Academy of Ophthalmology has standards for adult eye exams.
For adults, it is recommended that patients over 40 receive eye exams every 2 years. After 50, yearly exams are necessary. While some people wonder if that frequency of exams is necessary, we know that certain disease states will progress significantly in that amount of time. In fact, once a patient is diagnosed with glaucoma, they must be examined every 3 MONTHS!!
Glaucoma, cataracts and macular degeneration all begin to show up when patients are in their 40’s and 50’s. This is why the yearly exams are a must. I have 2 patients in my practice that never needed glasses until they were in their 40’s. At that time, they began to need reading glasses, so they bought them at the local dollar store. Fast-forward 25 years. On a whim, these patients decided to come for an actual eye exam. They were unpleasantly surprised to find that they had lost 80-90% of their vision to glaucoma!! An entirely preventable/treatable disease, that went undetected due to lack of routine eye exams.
And for the kids….an eye exam before the age of 6 is best. School screenings are fairly good, but sometimes subtle problems that can become larger issues can be missed. And the window of opportunity to fix those problems closes around the age 0f 8 or 9. If everything is normal, then exams every 3 to 5 years is probably acceptable.
So….kids AND adults need regular eye exams!! Call your ophthalmologist today!!
II. Dry Eye – Causes, Symptoms And Treatment
Dry eye produces discomfort and reduces vision when the tear film becomes chronically table or unavailable thereby leading to dryness of the conjunctiva and cornea. Sometimes, a person with a dry eye will have excess tears running down the cheeks, which may seem confusing. People who have Chronic Dry Eyes are diagnosed by a doctor and usually have a decrease in the amount of tear production. Many people also find their eyes become irritated when reading or working on a computer. Stopping periodically to rest and blink keeps the eyes more comfortable In addition, because these emergency tears tend to arrive too late, the eye needs to regenerate and treatment is necessary.
Dry eyes are caused by a lack of tears. A sad movie or a wedding can make your tears flow. But tears aren't produced only on those occasions. It is usually caused by a problem with the quality of the tear film that lubricates the eyes. Tears are a combination of water, for moisture; oils, for lubrication; mucus, for even spreading; and antibodies and special proteins, for resistance to infection. People with dry eyes often feel discomfort in a variety of forms. Sometimes even if the eyes are dry they may feel as though they 'water'; this is due to poorly spreading tears.
When your eyes become irritated by dust or are bothered by wind, smoke or fumes, extra tears form to help wash away the foreign material. In response, the eye is flooded with tears to try to compensate for the underlying dryness. However, these tears are mostly water and do not have the lubricating qualities or the rich composition of normal tears. The eye depends on the flow of tears to provide constant moisture and lubrication to maintain vision and comfort. Dry eye syndrome is a chronic lack of sufficient lubrication and moisture in the eye.
Causes of Dry Eyes
The common Causes of Dry Eyes :
· Side effects of using certain medications such as antihistamines and birth control pills.
· An eye injury or other problem with your eyes or eyelids (like a drooping eyelid or bulging eyes ).
· Diseases that affect the ability to make tears, such as Sjogren's syndrome , rheumatoid arthritis and collagen vascular diseases.
· Smoking or second-hand smoke exposure.
· A very dry environment - try using a humidifier.
· Cold or allergy medicines.
Symptoms of Dry Eyes
Some common Symptoms of Dry Eyes :
· Itching .
· Discomfort in the eyes.
· Stringy mucus in or around your eyes.
· Burning.
· Itchiness.
· Irritation.
· Redness.
· Sensitivity to light .
· Difficulty wearing contact lenses.
· Increased eye irritation from smoke or wind.
Treatment of Dry Eyes
Here is the list of the methods for treating Dry Eyes :
· Other medications, including topical steroids, may also be beneficial in some cases.
· Anti-inflammatory medications, such as steroids, antimetabolites and cyclosporine A, as well as tetracyclines and hormones, are used to treat more severe forms of dry eye surgical techniques used to preserve tears include punctal cautery, punctal plugs, and tarsorrhaphy
· Excessive air movement dries out your eyes avoid having excessive air movement by decreasing the speed of ceiling fans and/or oscillating fans.
· If you notice your eyes are dry mainly while you are reading or watching TV, taking frequent breaks to allow your eyes to rest and become moist and comfortable again is helpful.
INVESTMENT - 11
High Return Investments - A Buy and Hold Strategy For Big Gains
Here we will outline a simple investment, that’s low risk and has the potential to make 30 – 50% annual gains and finally, it’s simple to understand, easy to do and requires only a low minimum investment to get started.
The US Dollar is suffering from sluggish economic growth and debt and is set to fall which has been the story for the last few years. This strategy is simply to buy and hold two currencies against the dollar – the Australian and Canadian Dollar.
Your not going to trade in and out all the time, this is a strategy for the patient trader and when this trade is entered it can be left for years.
Your buying and holding for the longer term. Before we look at the potential gains lets look at opening a currency account and taking advantage of leverage to improve profit potential
Opening an account
Today you can open one online and you only need a few hundred dollars. Most brokers will give you 100:1 leverage so if you deposit $1,000 you can trade $100,000 if you wish.
This is a buy and hold strategy and you wouldn’t want to over do leverage and 10:1 leverage would give you the chance to easily target 50% + per annum. If you look at the price rises in these currencies over the last 5 years you will see this is a realistic target
50% Per Annum Capital Growth Potential
So why should these currencies continue with their bull run against the dollar?
Quite simply there economies are in better shape and booming while the US economy is sluggish and may even slip into recession and furthermore the US dollar is more affected by world volatility and political factors than ever before.
Another major factor is the boom in commodity prices that has taken place in recent years as India and China push prices up with their ever rising demand and spectacular economic growth.
Canada and Australia are exporting commodity nations and the US is a net importer.
Commodity price rises obviously support exporting nations currencies but hurt importing nations like the US. The trend that has been in place for the last few years of dollar declines against the above currencies looks set to continue.
Although you have to careful with your timing, a simple buy and hold strategy will do well longer term and represents a great diversification from volatile stocks.
If you want a high return investment, that’s simple to understand easy to do and provides diversification then this one provides it.
II. Understanding Exchange Traded Funds ETFs
A few years ago there were only a handful of Exchange Traded Funds. Today there are over 500 ETFs covering many different segments of both the domestic and foreign markets. Understanding the differences in Exchange Traded Funds and Mutual Funds will help you in your long term investment strategy.
Exchange Traded Funds:
*Are listed on the various stock exchanges and trade just like a stock
*They are priced continuously throughout the trading day
*ETFs can be sold short
*You pay a commission when buying and selling just like when buying an individual stock.
ETFs offer all of the advantages of a mutual fund without some of the disadvantages:
Diversification:
A typical ETF will hold many individual stocks within its portfolio.
Professional Management:
ETFs are managed by highly professional investment specialist that make the buy and sell decisions for their individual ETF portfolios.
Economies of Scale:
ETFs take advantage of their size to minimize transaction cost associated with buying and selling individual stocks within their respective portfolios.
Advantages over Mutual Funds:
With ETFs there are no minimum holding periods and no early redemption fees.
Types of Exchange Traded Funds:
*Growth oriented (Smaller growth stocks)
*Value oriented (Large cap value stocks)
*Income oriented (Bond funds or dividend paying stocks)
*Specific country focused (China, Singapore, Germany, etc.)
*Regional focused (Latin America, Europe, Asia, etc)
*Foreign exchange (Forex related vs. the U.S. Dollar)
*Specific market segments (energy, healthcare, consumer products, etc.)
*Precious Metals (Gold, silver, etc.)
How to build an Exchange Traded Funds ETF Portfolio
*You could buy and hold a diverse number of individual ETFs. While this would give you good diversification there is a better way to invest in Exchange Traded Funds to maximize your return on investment.
*The preferred alternative is to follow a time-tested system for buying and selling a portfolio of ETFs.
Here we will outline a simple investment, that’s low risk and has the potential to make 30 – 50% annual gains and finally, it’s simple to understand, easy to do and requires only a low minimum investment to get started.
The US Dollar is suffering from sluggish economic growth and debt and is set to fall which has been the story for the last few years. This strategy is simply to buy and hold two currencies against the dollar – the Australian and Canadian Dollar.
Your not going to trade in and out all the time, this is a strategy for the patient trader and when this trade is entered it can be left for years.
Your buying and holding for the longer term. Before we look at the potential gains lets look at opening a currency account and taking advantage of leverage to improve profit potential
Opening an account
Today you can open one online and you only need a few hundred dollars. Most brokers will give you 100:1 leverage so if you deposit $1,000 you can trade $100,000 if you wish.
This is a buy and hold strategy and you wouldn’t want to over do leverage and 10:1 leverage would give you the chance to easily target 50% + per annum. If you look at the price rises in these currencies over the last 5 years you will see this is a realistic target
50% Per Annum Capital Growth Potential
So why should these currencies continue with their bull run against the dollar?
Quite simply there economies are in better shape and booming while the US economy is sluggish and may even slip into recession and furthermore the US dollar is more affected by world volatility and political factors than ever before.
Another major factor is the boom in commodity prices that has taken place in recent years as India and China push prices up with their ever rising demand and spectacular economic growth.
Canada and Australia are exporting commodity nations and the US is a net importer.
Commodity price rises obviously support exporting nations currencies but hurt importing nations like the US. The trend that has been in place for the last few years of dollar declines against the above currencies looks set to continue.
Although you have to careful with your timing, a simple buy and hold strategy will do well longer term and represents a great diversification from volatile stocks.
If you want a high return investment, that’s simple to understand easy to do and provides diversification then this one provides it.
II. Understanding Exchange Traded Funds ETFs
A few years ago there were only a handful of Exchange Traded Funds. Today there are over 500 ETFs covering many different segments of both the domestic and foreign markets. Understanding the differences in Exchange Traded Funds and Mutual Funds will help you in your long term investment strategy.
Exchange Traded Funds:
*Are listed on the various stock exchanges and trade just like a stock
*They are priced continuously throughout the trading day
*ETFs can be sold short
*You pay a commission when buying and selling just like when buying an individual stock.
ETFs offer all of the advantages of a mutual fund without some of the disadvantages:
Diversification:
A typical ETF will hold many individual stocks within its portfolio.
Professional Management:
ETFs are managed by highly professional investment specialist that make the buy and sell decisions for their individual ETF portfolios.
Economies of Scale:
ETFs take advantage of their size to minimize transaction cost associated with buying and selling individual stocks within their respective portfolios.
Advantages over Mutual Funds:
With ETFs there are no minimum holding periods and no early redemption fees.
Types of Exchange Traded Funds:
*Growth oriented (Smaller growth stocks)
*Value oriented (Large cap value stocks)
*Income oriented (Bond funds or dividend paying stocks)
*Specific country focused (China, Singapore, Germany, etc.)
*Regional focused (Latin America, Europe, Asia, etc)
*Foreign exchange (Forex related vs. the U.S. Dollar)
*Specific market segments (energy, healthcare, consumer products, etc.)
*Precious Metals (Gold, silver, etc.)
How to build an Exchange Traded Funds ETF Portfolio
*You could buy and hold a diverse number of individual ETFs. While this would give you good diversification there is a better way to invest in Exchange Traded Funds to maximize your return on investment.
*The preferred alternative is to follow a time-tested system for buying and selling a portfolio of ETFs.
INVESTMENT -10
A Beginner's Guide To Mutual Fund Investing
If you are new to investing, you may have heard of mutual funds but do not know exactly what they are or how to select the right one. A mutual fund is a collective investment security, and there are many different types. It may consist of a mix of several different types of investment vehicles, such as stocks, bonds, or derivatives, or it may consist of nothing but stocks that are part of a certain sector of the economy, or it could be just bonds.
For example, there are mutual funds that consist of nothing but technology stocks. There are also funds that are comprised of stocks that have a similar market capitalization (such as mid-cap funds, large-cap funds, or small-cap funds). And some might contain several different types of securities (such as stocks, bonds, etc.) that all fall within the same risk classification (high-risk, medium-risk, low-risk).
Just like stocks, mutual funds have a price per share, also known as the Net Asset Value (NAV). The NAV is calculated by dividing the total value of the fund divided by the number of shares outstanding. As with stocks, the price fluctuates on a daily basis and it can be sold just like any other security.
When deciding what fund to invest in, you need to consider your investment goals. Are you looking for long-term capital appreciation, or would you prefer to receive immediate income from your investment? You also need to evaluate your risk tolerance. Are you willing to take a chance on a speculative fund to potentially receive a better return, or is capital preservation a high priority?
If capital preservation is your goal, then you should consider a mutual fund that consists of low risk equities and conservative bond and money market instruments. If you want a mix of investments, then you should look for a balanced fund. If you want explosive capital appreciation, then you should consider a high-risk common stock or high-yielding bond fund.
They are different than stocks when it comes to fees and expenses. As with stocks, funds are subject to capital gains taxes. But a fund is sometimes subject to a front-end and/or back-end load. If there is a front-end load, that means that a percentage of the initial investment is automatically deducted to pay for commissions to the fund. If there is a back-end load, the investor must pay a fee when the security is sold.
Also, there is a 12b-1 fee that is often deducted to pay for advertising expenses incurred for the marketing of the fund to the public. Sometimes there is no 12b-1 fee, it depends. Investors might be unaware of the 12b-1 fee because it is sometimes deducted from the share price, so in a way, it is an invisible fee.
I hope this introduction to mutual funds will help you make some decisions regarding your investments. There are literally thousands of different funds available, and brokerage houses often have their own set of funds that they create for sale to their customers. Talk to your broker and see if he or she can help you identify the best investment vehicle for you. Just make sure you review the fee structure of the mutual fund you are interested in before you invest.
II. Some facts about Mutual Funds
Investing money in different sectors such as in real estate, personal account, in stocks or in mutual funds has become a necessity in modern days. These are ways in which money can be saved for future. Investing money in mutual funds is one such way where there is low risk involved but that depends on different schemes. A mutual fund is packaged by an Investment Company and is a collection of stocks and other investment. This is the simplest way to enter into the stock market even by an average pay check earner. The initial investment one requires to enter mutual funds is a paltry $1000 and with $250 initial investment small number of mutual funds could be purchased.
„« Before investing, potential investors should read and evaluate the individual prospective available with Mutual Funds. The prospective could be available by mail on request from the investor or the investor has the option to check the performance of Mutual Fund on-line.
„« The prospective provides information about the performance of Mutual Funds over past quarters, years and decades as well as the fees that are charged to investors. Certain Mutual funds offered by state and municipal entities are generally no-load funds. Investors do not have to deposit fee for such funds and these are also exempt from some taxes. But incase the investor withdraws or move his investment somewhere else then he has to pay some charge. There are some other charges which the investor has to pay to the company for handling Mutual funds. For investors this much knowledge is essential before he commits a single dime to a mutual fund.
„« Before investing you should check out the stocks and other investments in which the mutual fund you are interested has investments. The knowledge of broader market is essential in determining the future of that Mutual fund.
„« There is also opportunity in investing global stocks, financial, technology or energy stocks but the investor must be ensure that these are doing good in the overall stock market.
„« For investors new to the field there are brokerage houses with professional financial planners to review the investment including realty, equities, bonds and mutual funds on behalf of the investor.
Mutual funds allow the investor to check the risk level. There are many investment plans from which the investor has to choose according to his objective such as retirement plans. Some advisory services provide ratings on Mutual funds that makes easy for an investor to invest. Also articles are published in different journals such as in the Wall Street Journals which informs about current status of different investment agencies. As a rule of thumb investors should seek out mutual funds with least exposure to sub-prime mortgage woes. The investor also check whether any institutional investor has invest in that Mutual fund company as they are the one who goes with the best.
If you are new to investing, you may have heard of mutual funds but do not know exactly what they are or how to select the right one. A mutual fund is a collective investment security, and there are many different types. It may consist of a mix of several different types of investment vehicles, such as stocks, bonds, or derivatives, or it may consist of nothing but stocks that are part of a certain sector of the economy, or it could be just bonds.
For example, there are mutual funds that consist of nothing but technology stocks. There are also funds that are comprised of stocks that have a similar market capitalization (such as mid-cap funds, large-cap funds, or small-cap funds). And some might contain several different types of securities (such as stocks, bonds, etc.) that all fall within the same risk classification (high-risk, medium-risk, low-risk).
Just like stocks, mutual funds have a price per share, also known as the Net Asset Value (NAV). The NAV is calculated by dividing the total value of the fund divided by the number of shares outstanding. As with stocks, the price fluctuates on a daily basis and it can be sold just like any other security.
When deciding what fund to invest in, you need to consider your investment goals. Are you looking for long-term capital appreciation, or would you prefer to receive immediate income from your investment? You also need to evaluate your risk tolerance. Are you willing to take a chance on a speculative fund to potentially receive a better return, or is capital preservation a high priority?
If capital preservation is your goal, then you should consider a mutual fund that consists of low risk equities and conservative bond and money market instruments. If you want a mix of investments, then you should look for a balanced fund. If you want explosive capital appreciation, then you should consider a high-risk common stock or high-yielding bond fund.
They are different than stocks when it comes to fees and expenses. As with stocks, funds are subject to capital gains taxes. But a fund is sometimes subject to a front-end and/or back-end load. If there is a front-end load, that means that a percentage of the initial investment is automatically deducted to pay for commissions to the fund. If there is a back-end load, the investor must pay a fee when the security is sold.
Also, there is a 12b-1 fee that is often deducted to pay for advertising expenses incurred for the marketing of the fund to the public. Sometimes there is no 12b-1 fee, it depends. Investors might be unaware of the 12b-1 fee because it is sometimes deducted from the share price, so in a way, it is an invisible fee.
I hope this introduction to mutual funds will help you make some decisions regarding your investments. There are literally thousands of different funds available, and brokerage houses often have their own set of funds that they create for sale to their customers. Talk to your broker and see if he or she can help you identify the best investment vehicle for you. Just make sure you review the fee structure of the mutual fund you are interested in before you invest.
II. Some facts about Mutual Funds
Investing money in different sectors such as in real estate, personal account, in stocks or in mutual funds has become a necessity in modern days. These are ways in which money can be saved for future. Investing money in mutual funds is one such way where there is low risk involved but that depends on different schemes. A mutual fund is packaged by an Investment Company and is a collection of stocks and other investment. This is the simplest way to enter into the stock market even by an average pay check earner. The initial investment one requires to enter mutual funds is a paltry $1000 and with $250 initial investment small number of mutual funds could be purchased.
„« Before investing, potential investors should read and evaluate the individual prospective available with Mutual Funds. The prospective could be available by mail on request from the investor or the investor has the option to check the performance of Mutual Fund on-line.
„« The prospective provides information about the performance of Mutual Funds over past quarters, years and decades as well as the fees that are charged to investors. Certain Mutual funds offered by state and municipal entities are generally no-load funds. Investors do not have to deposit fee for such funds and these are also exempt from some taxes. But incase the investor withdraws or move his investment somewhere else then he has to pay some charge. There are some other charges which the investor has to pay to the company for handling Mutual funds. For investors this much knowledge is essential before he commits a single dime to a mutual fund.
„« Before investing you should check out the stocks and other investments in which the mutual fund you are interested has investments. The knowledge of broader market is essential in determining the future of that Mutual fund.
„« There is also opportunity in investing global stocks, financial, technology or energy stocks but the investor must be ensure that these are doing good in the overall stock market.
„« For investors new to the field there are brokerage houses with professional financial planners to review the investment including realty, equities, bonds and mutual funds on behalf of the investor.
Mutual funds allow the investor to check the risk level. There are many investment plans from which the investor has to choose according to his objective such as retirement plans. Some advisory services provide ratings on Mutual funds that makes easy for an investor to invest. Also articles are published in different journals such as in the Wall Street Journals which informs about current status of different investment agencies. As a rule of thumb investors should seek out mutual funds with least exposure to sub-prime mortgage woes. The investor also check whether any institutional investor has invest in that Mutual fund company as they are the one who goes with the best.
SMALL BUSINESS - 9
For Bigger, Faster Profits, Keep Your Business Simple and Overhead Low
Are you ready to earn BIG money? It's been proven over and over again the people who make the MOST money are those who own their own business.
The average SMALL business owner, and I mean SMALL, earns more in their own business than they ever did working for someone else.
And what about those businesses that fail? The US Small Business Administration says almost all those owners get back up and start a new business where they earn good money.
These days most people already understand owning a business can greatly improve their lifestyle. What they usually don't know is just how to design their business so it generates maximum profits.
Most would say common sense tells you the bigger the business, the BIGGER the profits. Grow your business into a multi-million dollar building, employ 200 people, spend $2 Million on advertising -- and hey, you MUST be making LOTS of money!
But that very often IS NOT the case. A large restaurant may need to do $100,000 dollars in sales each month just to break even.
What I'm getting to is THIS -- To make the most money FAST, keep your business SIMPLE. And keep your overhead LOW!
Remember the old principle that is as true today as it was when Benjamin Franklin wrote it two centuries ago: a penny saved is a penny earned. All that money you DON'T spend can be counted as PROFITS.
One of my favorite stories goes back to the very beginning of the McDonalds restaurant chain. McDonalds founder Ray Kroc visited the tiny McDonalds Brothers drive-in to find out why they were making so much money. What he found was the original McDonalds was keeping customers happy with just 9 menu items made with a dozen ingredients. Talk about simple!
Not only that, but the first McDonalds required just a few minimum-wage employees, keeping labor costs very low.
Kroc, who already owned his own coast-to-coast business, was impressed beyond belief at just how SIMPLE the first McDonalds was, and just how LOW the overhead. Kroc immediately understood that McDonalds was a huge profit maker, one that could be DUPLICATED around the country and eventually around the world.
Recently I have been telling people to get into the food service industry. No matter how deep the recession goes, people will ALWAYS need to eat. Most restaurants see their sales go UP as many other industries watch their belts tighten.
But just like Ray Kroc, I'm not a huge fan of running a BIG restaurant with a big expensive staff and huge monthly bills. There simply isn't enough room for profits. And keeping up with all the inherent complexity and headaches can drive an otherwise sane owner over the edge.
Instead, I advise starting your own restaurant delivery business. You provide the one IN-DEMAND service MOST restaurants don't. You bring restaurants' delicious food to their customers, keeping a nice profit in your own business that is super simple and has remarkably low overhead.
So what are you waiting for? Get started now. And keep your operation simple and profitable.
SMALL BUSINESS - 8
Small Business Marketing Tips: How to Get Your Customers to Buy Over and Over Again
1. Your customers will come to really know and like you. And, of course, we tend to do business with people we know and like. Putting a name and a personality to the products and services they're buying will keep them glued and loyal to you.
2. Your customers will think of you first. This is what I was getting at when I talked about "the only kind of top of mind awareness that matters." When you're staying in touch, you're at the top of their minds—not the other guy.
3. Your customers will appreciate you. As long as you're providing products, services, and information that really will enhance your customers' quality of life, solve their problems, and meet their goals, they will come to rely on you as a trusted advisor, a never-ending source of solutions! And that's a great place to be!
4. Loyalty will improve. Because of the tremendous value you're offering, people will become loyal to your brand, making it extremely difficult for your competition to make any headway with your customers.
5. Sales will increase. Because you're asking for sales consistently, you'll get more. It's that simple.
6. Referrals will increase. The more satisfied your customers are, the more likely they are to refer. What's more, you set up systems to consistently ask for referrals—which of course will lead to more of them!
7. You'll retain customers longer. Remember this profound truth: "When your customers stop buying from you, they stop being your customers." This single principle is so powerful, I actually recommend you make yourself a sign with those exact words and put it someplace you can see it every day. The better you are at keeping in touch with your customers, the longer you'll retain them.
8. You'll reduce your marketing costs. Remember what we said in our previous chapter about spending at least 50% of your marketing budget on your existing customers? Well, that still stands. As you do, you'll get better response for less money.
9. You'll increase your revenue. Because your overhead will decrease, your revenue will go up!
10. You'll increase the Lifetime Profit Value of your customers—which will make your business more and more profitable over time.
11. You'll be more attuned to what your customers need and want. This is one of the greatest benefits of staying in constant contact with your customers. When you make it a point to interact with them, they'll let you know what they need. And that will give you the information and power to make your products and services even more valuable.
12. You'll feel good about your business. Knowing that you're making a real difference in the lives of others is one of the greatest thing about being in business for yourself. What kind of an impact you're making is never more apparent than when you've built solid relationships with your customers, and they show you with their pocketbooks.
So make a point to contact your customers regularly! Make an offer! And watch your business explode.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
KSINGH'S JOKES - 5
I have got three words for you
Yes! We might all be well-known of this three-word sentence "I BLAME HIM/HER/IT/YOU/THEM".
After failed ventures in Afghanistan and Iraq, the subnormally intelligent George Bush, seems to have the perfect solution for the ongoing food price rise in the United States. He blamed the 350 Million middle class people of "developing" India(who have started to get better, financially) for consuming "better quality" food. So keeping in mind what President Bush has said, I think, Indians just have to eat to let the whole world die of hunger(no pun intended).
The Second Major party in India, the BJP, seems to have its own reasons for the food price rise in India. It blamed the ruling party, the UPA, for the price rise. This non-sensical statement is no surprise as the next Elections are fast approaching. Keeping in mind this statement, all the UPA has to now worry about is that no "comet" strikes India from space, cos that way they would be responsible for the disaster.
The latest craze in India is the IPL, Indian Premier League.
A series of Twenty20 style cricket matches, with teams comprising of star players from around the world, owned by big movie stars and business magnets, and ofcourse "cheerleaders".
It was no surprise when a Mumbai based politician raised his voice concerning the way these "imported" cheerleaders dressed or moved. If you think your mind's getting lusty looking at the cheerleaders, another solution would be using one of your body parts, called the "eyelids", to shut your eyes or rather watch the Cricketers playing the game on the field. Why should the cheerleaders be blamed for you getting lusty?
The ad agency that shot the brilliantly sweet "Happy to help" ad for Vodafone in India, was driven to court by an animal rights group that blamed the agency for leaving the "pug" used in the ad all huffed and puffed.
The sale of pugs as pets reportedly rose(with its price) after it was first used in Hutch's(Now Vodafone) ad. The cute little doggy is depicted to be chasing a bus down a road, and the animal rights group felt that "that" running was too harsh on the dog. Whats next? A ban on playing Frisbees with your pets?? Because that will surely leave your pets exhausted. For Christ's sake!! Dogs do run and play and they enjoy doing it!!
So when will this blame game stop? Thats the million dollar question.
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Bush as his best again(in Stupidity ofcourse. What else is he best in?)
After failed ventures in afghanistan and iraq, the King of Stupids, the great president of America with Subnormal Intelligence, George Bush, seems to have totally lost his head.
Man! Suddenly I am feeling a shrill fear going down me. What if America wages war against Indians? India has to worry now because we might enter the terror list as our country is posing a serious threat to the people of USA.
And whats the whole deal about the Terror List, thats very much like the FORBE's List that keeps updating itself each year. Some kind of a fashion statement to let people know that USA is still the Bully? Who cares anyway about their lists?
What does he mean to say? That he never expected us to outshine them? Or we shouldnt be growing and our middle class population shouldnt be demanding better food?
And hey! Have we, Indians, found a better option to kill more people? More powerful than the nuclear bomb discovered by USA? According to Bush's remark, We just have to eat at our pace and the world will be deprived of food and people will die of hunger. :D
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Should we mix sports and politics for a Human Cause?
“There may be times when we are powerless to prevent injustice, but there must never be a time when we fail to protest.”
~ Elie Wiesel
A prominent actor had once had my sympathies when he was dragged into problems because he supported the Narmada Bachao Aandolan, a noble cause indeed. But his stand on the Olympic-cum-Tibetan problem has left me confused. Each person has his/her personal opinions and hence I dont criticise the actor for his statement. I, however dont agree with his statement.
People being gagged in their own lands, shouting, crying, beaten and shot to death and giving out their pleas for help, getting one chance to express themselves, the Olympics, a global event, played to bring a sense of brotherhood and unity among the diverse countries of our world.......is not what is called "mixing politics and sports".
I think India should have shown its support to the People of Tibet by boycotting the current Olympics. It's nothing new. The Olympic Games have been boycotted before in 1956, 1972, 1976, 1980 and 1984 by many countries. As many as 65 nations boycotted the 1984 Olympics due to the Soviet Invasion of Afghanistan.
Human rights is of utmost importance than any sport. This earth belongs to no particular person/group. It is everyone's right to live freely without any shackles bound to them.
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"Its all about women" at Prithvi Theatre
My first play. After enjoying couple of sips of Irish Coffee(with Claudy, Ruby and Kurund) from the Prithvi Theatre cafeteria, and standing in the queue(Prithvi Theatre has a First Come First Serve basis for the allotment of seats), we entered the 200 something seater theatre.
The ambience was splendid with the dim lighting of the theatre, the chill of the AC, carpets over the floors, and the seats arranged across the theatre in a manner similar to that of the Colosseum. Not just a mere visual copy, even the sound was lucid throughout the play.
The set was simple but the stage was made use of fully. The play that was an adaptation of Miro Gavran's play, lasted for more than 2 Hours. 5 stories intertwined intelligently into one with lots of humour, not to forget a bit of adult comedy here and there.
Here's a bit of the synopsis from the Akravious Production's Website:
" In one story, the heroines are two sisters who have been on bad terms for years, while their mother tries to reconcile them. The second story is about two friends whose relationship undergoes a crisis when a third person appears. In the third story, the heroines are three secretaries, each of whom wants to advance her career, at any cost. The fourth story concentrates on three old ladies living in a retirement home, while the heroines in the fifth story are little girls at a kindergarten. "
The price of the ticket was just Rs.50 as this was a new play and our's was just their third/fourth performance.
The parts I liked were the ones with the "Older women" and the ones with the "Kids". Especially the one when the kid cries on stage while singing, after failing to find her mom present at the school's function; the enactment was damn too perfect.
The actors were truly awesome. Even after straining my gyri and sulci together, I couldnt find a single flaw in their delivery of dialogues.
I didnt expect to see such an excellent performance. Aptly speaking, their performance was way better than most prominent actors in Hindi Films and serials(and by prominent I dont mean crappy actors like Shiny Ahuja or John Abraham), and I wonder why I havent seen them on T.V. No wonder the whole crowd rose to give them a standing ovation at the end of the play.
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Akshay Kumar, the Car and Thumbs up
Thumbs Up ads failed to impress me the last couple of times, be it Akshay Kumar riding into the dark side and drinking the cola on top of a tower or Jumping down from the building and stealing away a bottle of cola from a passing Thumbs Up Truck.
The recent ad though has got me awestruck. For an ad that costed crores, and after being highly hyped ad, the Thumbs up ad surely isnt that great after all. Though this ad hasnt been well acclaimed by the critics, I loved it.
Akshay Kumar best fits into the whacko racer character. But the thing that stole my heart was the lady.. Nope! Not that scared girl but the car that was close to the Ford Mustang used in Gone in 60 Seconds in looks. The car was just perfect for the ad.
The part where the lady in the car shouts out loud and Akshay Kumar shouts in return like imitating her was Genuine "Akshayish" Stuff and couldnt stop laughing at that.
The editing of the scenes couldnt have gotten better than this as the whole chasing scene seems continuous. I feel this is the best car chasing scene ever to be made with an Indian Actor(though shot in Malaysia by a Malaysian Director), and it will go down on my list of favorites.
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The divide that wasnt!.... or was it?
The current violence in Mumbai(of MNS members and Samajwadi Party members) can be seen in different ways.
One, as jealousy, that of Amitabh getting closer to Balasaheb rather than to Raj Thackeray.
Two, as politics. The Shiv Sena has widened its acceptance by calling Bhaiyyas as respectful Uttar Hindustanis in order to increase their vote banks in North Mumbai. And MNS had the right chance to check-mate their rivals by this show of Marathi Manoos emotions, to catch hold of Marathi votes who feel betrayed by the Shiv Sena's Marathi Manoos promises. Believe it or not, but even though most Maharashtrians seem to say they dont support MNSs stance in the on-going controversy, they contradict themselves in their heart.
Third, and the most important of all, the basic law of nature. It is paradoxical. We want India to spread its arms around the world with its industries and cultures. But we dont want foreign countries to dominate us. Dont worry it is perfectly normal being egoistic. North-Indians trying to dominate the Maharashtrian Culture seems unpalatable to the hardcore Maharashtrians. And why not? Are we forgetting that we are animals too. That we want our lands to be secure from intruders. We want our cultures to dominate the land that we rule(or even spread to other lands). The world is a game of the Survival of the fittest. In order to dominate their lands, animals have to display their strengths from time to time, otherwise their dominance and cultures might get lost in the wind.
This divide already existed in India. Be it the current Maharashtrian - North-Indian divide or the bigger and older North-Indian South-Indian divide. It has to be kept in mind, that India will remain 'Unity in Diversity' only if groups of various cultures RESPECT each other's values. After all, you wont allow some stranger to enter your house and sit on your sofa and curl up his feet on your tea table, would you?
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Global Warming or Global Cooling?
I couldnt help noticing the 99% people(1% being the parish priest and the altar boys ;)) of my parish wrapped up in sweaters and mufflers when I visited the church this saturday. This was a rare sight. Ofcourse, Mumbai going 7 to 8.5 degrees is a rare climatic condition too. It has been recorded as the lowest temperature in the past 46 years. And we raise our eyebrows when we hear news that most sweaters in our area have been sold out, like hot cakes. Can we call these the effects of global warming? Are Humans the only reason for this change in Climate?
No. Humans arent solely responsible for this change. Though our activities(causing pollution and the release of greenhouse gases) are acting as a catalyst, our Earth's climate has seen drops and rises since it was born. Our earth has already been through Four Ice Ages. We are in the midst of the Ice Age that started 1000s of years ago. Proof? The ice covers in the northern and sourthern hemispheres, that still prevail. Michael Crichton's book, "State of Fear", discusses this very fact.
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Clash of cultures and the formation of Indian Taboos
This article is in connection with the 31st Night Molestation Case of Female Tourists at two prominent places in India. I got a chance to catch the debate live on CNN-IBN as I reached home the other night. No! I am not going to start discussing how bad the molestation was on India's reputation or whether Indian Women are safe outside or whether it was a sorry sight. "Is India Sex Starved?" was the title of the debate that was on. And one of the participants, when asked about whether it was Indian Culture that lead us to be sex starved, took on a different view. A view that I agree upon. And this blog delivers that view to you.
Anyway, if you need to know about women's safety in India, here's the link that gives the ranking of countries with the most number of rapes. US ranks 9th and well, India ranks 56th. See it for yourself.
Nudity was never intolerant in ancient India. Scientifically, because of the Tropical Climate, Indians(men and women alike) dressed only the bottom half of their body, unlike Europeans who used to be fully dressed given the cold climatic conditions.
Our country was sexually tolerant in ages as early as 500 BC. Kamasutra, the best know Sex Education book, was a work on the science of love and was intended as both an exploration of human desire and a technical guide to pleasing a sexual partner within a marriage. Sex was considered to be a duty between partners after marriage which can be depicted in Khajuraho Temples and Ajanta caves.
Osho or Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, was one, who was quite controversial for his OPEN stance on Sex in Modern India.
Osho
He said, no one should suppress his/her desires. His admirers include Dr. Manmohan Singh, Vinod Khanna and Khushwant Singh.
The 'Osho International Meditation Resort' at Pune
'Osho International Meditation Resort' at Pune has more than 2,00,000 visitors annually and is one of the largest spiritual growth centres in the world.
The current thinking that 'sex is a taboo' is the output of two inputs viz. the Mughal, and the Colonial Eras. In the 16th Century, the liberal way of life first got a shot in the arm as the Mughal Era came in with the "purdah" system, which is not only prevalent amongst Muslims in India today but also amongst Hindus.
Aurangzeb
Aurangzeb(The Mughal Emperor)
However, the biggest effect on India's look towards sex was caused by the British Raj. The current colonization of Indian minds with European conservative values was caused by British education, administration and literature that was mostly biased. Indians thus converted their religious practices and moral values to Victorian kinds. Consider current issues. Unlike western cultures considering Homosexuality as being anti-social or psychopathological requiring correction or cure, Ancient India already knew about 'tritiya-prakriti' or Third Nature(transgenders, homosexuals, transsexuals, bisexuals etc). God is Ardhanarisvara for Hindus, which means half male and half female, and hence they have a semi-divine status with the power to bless as well as curse.
Gay Pride at Toronto
Taking example of Gods, Lord Ayyappa was born of Lord Shiva and Mohini. Mohini was a female incarnation of Vishnu. Aravan Festivals is just one of the many festivals of the third sex celebrated in India.
The controversial Kinsey Report
Ofcourse, we dont need Dr. Alfred Kinsey to conduct a survey of millions and tell us how sick the Victorian kind of values were.
Though Britishers were kicked out of India, their laws(read JOKES) still rule us. E.g. Section 377 in the Indian Judiciary.
So chill! We might have not been to the moon first(we havent yet), or have launched missiles from Space, but, Hey! We were the first Sexually Liberate country.
Time for some practicals:
Switch(tryThese) {
case 1:
The next time a politician tells you to NOT celebrate Valentines Day, because lovers cannot exhibit affection, hand him a book of Kamasutra.
The Kamasutra
case 2:
When he tells you to ban nude arts from the art galleries calling them AGAINST INDIAN CULTURE take him on a visit to Khajuraho Temples. If he is against nudity, make him understand how people of different geographical locations dress according to their climatic conditions. Cover him in sweater from head to toe and send him to Alaska, and revert, not until he accords with you.
case 3: If he tells you to ban Sex Education from Schools , slap him and give him a second copy of Kamasutra. And slap him again, because we arent living in the Stone Age. Each child has got access to the internet; a home for nearly 4.2 million porn websites, a sight good for sour eyes.
case 4:
If he tells you to be homophobic and bash up homosexuals and transexuals or ban movies like FIRE(or Psst! GirlFriend) tell him that in Ancient India(and even today) Hindu Priests performed Same-Sex marriages.
Navratna Tel
Put on Navratna Tel on his head and explain that Priests believe "Love is the result of attachments from previous births and that marriage, as a union of spirit, is existing outside gender".
default:
Even if after all this he doesnot understand then drink a glass of Adam's Ale and arrange a Short-Course in Indian History for him. If he doesnt understand even then, punch him with your bunch of fives and send him back to nursery.
How to punch for greater effect
}
And by the way! It is no longer a-la-mode to say, "We have been victimized by British Imperialism and Mughals". Shahrukh Khan will not cry with you on that holding a whisky bottle. It is time to stop complaining and change and become the Shahrukh of Swades;not of Devdas.
Dont be a Devdas
The only way India can decrease population and its ranking in AIDS is by letting its people freely talk about sex. Politicians will remain politicians, leave them alone as they are sure to enter the door with the "Abandon-hope-all-ye-who-enter-here" inscription on it. However, if they are adamant and say if they dont want to EVEN speak of "Condoms" openly, try this trick on them. Ask him, "Pata hain! DUM mar gaya! Arrey! Apna DUM" (DUM pronounced like DUM in DUMMY). He is sure to respond, "Kaun DUM?". And voila! There you are.
Please note, I am not blaming the media, for pinpointing only on negative aspects. If it wasnt for the media telecasting the molestation(whole day long), the police wouldnt have acted on the "minor issue" like they have done now.
We call the western world OPEN. But they are actually moving back to our times. Dont you think this is a Circle and that we are going back to the same point? Dont you think we are already going against the grain?
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Our beautiful skin!!
Well, remember when you get a cut or burn or some injury, your daily activities seem to suffer because of that injury. We tend to understand how IMPORTANT that part of the body is, however small it might be; how we take care of the injured part with all our heart, but as the injury fades away we seem to forget the pain and we strike back to our adventurous ways.
I got into a bit of an unfortunate mishap during diwali. Yeah! Crackers intimidate me. Especially when my friends seem to enjoy it as a sport, to throw them lit up on people and more especially when it is our very own "RASSI BOMB". Man! I fell down trying to escape the sudden attack, injuring a finger on my left hand.
It was terrible after that. I couldnt bend my finger. A single cut on the left hand caused bigger problems.
But it was interesting to see how the cut got filled up in a week. Okay! Many might not agree upon the INTERESTING part, but it is ACTUALLY interesting when you understand how beautifully our body works. I wanted to capture all these. You will find here a series of photos of the development of the skin taken between Day One to Day Seven.
Yes! We might all be well-known of this three-word sentence "I BLAME HIM/HER/IT/YOU/THEM".
After failed ventures in Afghanistan and Iraq, the subnormally intelligent George Bush, seems to have the perfect solution for the ongoing food price rise in the United States. He blamed the 350 Million middle class people of "developing" India(who have started to get better, financially) for consuming "better quality" food. So keeping in mind what President Bush has said, I think, Indians just have to eat to let the whole world die of hunger(no pun intended).
The Second Major party in India, the BJP, seems to have its own reasons for the food price rise in India. It blamed the ruling party, the UPA, for the price rise. This non-sensical statement is no surprise as the next Elections are fast approaching. Keeping in mind this statement, all the UPA has to now worry about is that no "comet" strikes India from space, cos that way they would be responsible for the disaster.
The latest craze in India is the IPL, Indian Premier League.
A series of Twenty20 style cricket matches, with teams comprising of star players from around the world, owned by big movie stars and business magnets, and ofcourse "cheerleaders".
It was no surprise when a Mumbai based politician raised his voice concerning the way these "imported" cheerleaders dressed or moved. If you think your mind's getting lusty looking at the cheerleaders, another solution would be using one of your body parts, called the "eyelids", to shut your eyes or rather watch the Cricketers playing the game on the field. Why should the cheerleaders be blamed for you getting lusty?
The ad agency that shot the brilliantly sweet "Happy to help" ad for Vodafone in India, was driven to court by an animal rights group that blamed the agency for leaving the "pug" used in the ad all huffed and puffed.
The sale of pugs as pets reportedly rose(with its price) after it was first used in Hutch's(Now Vodafone) ad. The cute little doggy is depicted to be chasing a bus down a road, and the animal rights group felt that "that" running was too harsh on the dog. Whats next? A ban on playing Frisbees with your pets?? Because that will surely leave your pets exhausted. For Christ's sake!! Dogs do run and play and they enjoy doing it!!
So when will this blame game stop? Thats the million dollar question.
Posted by Michael 0 comments Links to this post
Bush as his best again(in Stupidity ofcourse. What else is he best in?)
After failed ventures in afghanistan and iraq, the King of Stupids, the great president of America with Subnormal Intelligence, George Bush, seems to have totally lost his head.
Man! Suddenly I am feeling a shrill fear going down me. What if America wages war against Indians? India has to worry now because we might enter the terror list as our country is posing a serious threat to the people of USA.
And whats the whole deal about the Terror List, thats very much like the FORBE's List that keeps updating itself each year. Some kind of a fashion statement to let people know that USA is still the Bully? Who cares anyway about their lists?
What does he mean to say? That he never expected us to outshine them? Or we shouldnt be growing and our middle class population shouldnt be demanding better food?
And hey! Have we, Indians, found a better option to kill more people? More powerful than the nuclear bomb discovered by USA? According to Bush's remark, We just have to eat at our pace and the world will be deprived of food and people will die of hunger. :D
Posted by Michael 0 comments Links to this post
Should we mix sports and politics for a Human Cause?
“There may be times when we are powerless to prevent injustice, but there must never be a time when we fail to protest.”
~ Elie Wiesel
A prominent actor had once had my sympathies when he was dragged into problems because he supported the Narmada Bachao Aandolan, a noble cause indeed. But his stand on the Olympic-cum-Tibetan problem has left me confused. Each person has his/her personal opinions and hence I dont criticise the actor for his statement. I, however dont agree with his statement.
People being gagged in their own lands, shouting, crying, beaten and shot to death and giving out their pleas for help, getting one chance to express themselves, the Olympics, a global event, played to bring a sense of brotherhood and unity among the diverse countries of our world.......is not what is called "mixing politics and sports".
I think India should have shown its support to the People of Tibet by boycotting the current Olympics. It's nothing new. The Olympic Games have been boycotted before in 1956, 1972, 1976, 1980 and 1984 by many countries. As many as 65 nations boycotted the 1984 Olympics due to the Soviet Invasion of Afghanistan.
Human rights is of utmost importance than any sport. This earth belongs to no particular person/group. It is everyone's right to live freely without any shackles bound to them.
Posted by Michael 0 comments Links to this post
"Its all about women" at Prithvi Theatre
My first play. After enjoying couple of sips of Irish Coffee(with Claudy, Ruby and Kurund) from the Prithvi Theatre cafeteria, and standing in the queue(Prithvi Theatre has a First Come First Serve basis for the allotment of seats), we entered the 200 something seater theatre.
The ambience was splendid with the dim lighting of the theatre, the chill of the AC, carpets over the floors, and the seats arranged across the theatre in a manner similar to that of the Colosseum. Not just a mere visual copy, even the sound was lucid throughout the play.
The set was simple but the stage was made use of fully. The play that was an adaptation of Miro Gavran's play, lasted for more than 2 Hours. 5 stories intertwined intelligently into one with lots of humour, not to forget a bit of adult comedy here and there.
Here's a bit of the synopsis from the Akravious Production's Website:
" In one story, the heroines are two sisters who have been on bad terms for years, while their mother tries to reconcile them. The second story is about two friends whose relationship undergoes a crisis when a third person appears. In the third story, the heroines are three secretaries, each of whom wants to advance her career, at any cost. The fourth story concentrates on three old ladies living in a retirement home, while the heroines in the fifth story are little girls at a kindergarten. "
The price of the ticket was just Rs.50 as this was a new play and our's was just their third/fourth performance.
The parts I liked were the ones with the "Older women" and the ones with the "Kids". Especially the one when the kid cries on stage while singing, after failing to find her mom present at the school's function; the enactment was damn too perfect.
The actors were truly awesome. Even after straining my gyri and sulci together, I couldnt find a single flaw in their delivery of dialogues.
I didnt expect to see such an excellent performance. Aptly speaking, their performance was way better than most prominent actors in Hindi Films and serials(and by prominent I dont mean crappy actors like Shiny Ahuja or John Abraham), and I wonder why I havent seen them on T.V. No wonder the whole crowd rose to give them a standing ovation at the end of the play.
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Akshay Kumar, the Car and Thumbs up
Thumbs Up ads failed to impress me the last couple of times, be it Akshay Kumar riding into the dark side and drinking the cola on top of a tower or Jumping down from the building and stealing away a bottle of cola from a passing Thumbs Up Truck.
The recent ad though has got me awestruck. For an ad that costed crores, and after being highly hyped ad, the Thumbs up ad surely isnt that great after all. Though this ad hasnt been well acclaimed by the critics, I loved it.
Akshay Kumar best fits into the whacko racer character. But the thing that stole my heart was the lady.. Nope! Not that scared girl but the car that was close to the Ford Mustang used in Gone in 60 Seconds in looks. The car was just perfect for the ad.
The part where the lady in the car shouts out loud and Akshay Kumar shouts in return like imitating her was Genuine "Akshayish" Stuff and couldnt stop laughing at that.
The editing of the scenes couldnt have gotten better than this as the whole chasing scene seems continuous. I feel this is the best car chasing scene ever to be made with an Indian Actor(though shot in Malaysia by a Malaysian Director), and it will go down on my list of favorites.
Posted by Michael 0 comments Links to this post
The divide that wasnt!.... or was it?
The current violence in Mumbai(of MNS members and Samajwadi Party members) can be seen in different ways.
One, as jealousy, that of Amitabh getting closer to Balasaheb rather than to Raj Thackeray.
Two, as politics. The Shiv Sena has widened its acceptance by calling Bhaiyyas as respectful Uttar Hindustanis in order to increase their vote banks in North Mumbai. And MNS had the right chance to check-mate their rivals by this show of Marathi Manoos emotions, to catch hold of Marathi votes who feel betrayed by the Shiv Sena's Marathi Manoos promises. Believe it or not, but even though most Maharashtrians seem to say they dont support MNSs stance in the on-going controversy, they contradict themselves in their heart.
Third, and the most important of all, the basic law of nature. It is paradoxical. We want India to spread its arms around the world with its industries and cultures. But we dont want foreign countries to dominate us. Dont worry it is perfectly normal being egoistic. North-Indians trying to dominate the Maharashtrian Culture seems unpalatable to the hardcore Maharashtrians. And why not? Are we forgetting that we are animals too. That we want our lands to be secure from intruders. We want our cultures to dominate the land that we rule(or even spread to other lands). The world is a game of the Survival of the fittest. In order to dominate their lands, animals have to display their strengths from time to time, otherwise their dominance and cultures might get lost in the wind.
This divide already existed in India. Be it the current Maharashtrian - North-Indian divide or the bigger and older North-Indian South-Indian divide. It has to be kept in mind, that India will remain 'Unity in Diversity' only if groups of various cultures RESPECT each other's values. After all, you wont allow some stranger to enter your house and sit on your sofa and curl up his feet on your tea table, would you?
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Global Warming or Global Cooling?
I couldnt help noticing the 99% people(1% being the parish priest and the altar boys ;)) of my parish wrapped up in sweaters and mufflers when I visited the church this saturday. This was a rare sight. Ofcourse, Mumbai going 7 to 8.5 degrees is a rare climatic condition too. It has been recorded as the lowest temperature in the past 46 years. And we raise our eyebrows when we hear news that most sweaters in our area have been sold out, like hot cakes. Can we call these the effects of global warming? Are Humans the only reason for this change in Climate?
No. Humans arent solely responsible for this change. Though our activities(causing pollution and the release of greenhouse gases) are acting as a catalyst, our Earth's climate has seen drops and rises since it was born. Our earth has already been through Four Ice Ages. We are in the midst of the Ice Age that started 1000s of years ago. Proof? The ice covers in the northern and sourthern hemispheres, that still prevail. Michael Crichton's book, "State of Fear", discusses this very fact.
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Clash of cultures and the formation of Indian Taboos
This article is in connection with the 31st Night Molestation Case of Female Tourists at two prominent places in India. I got a chance to catch the debate live on CNN-IBN as I reached home the other night. No! I am not going to start discussing how bad the molestation was on India's reputation or whether Indian Women are safe outside or whether it was a sorry sight. "Is India Sex Starved?" was the title of the debate that was on. And one of the participants, when asked about whether it was Indian Culture that lead us to be sex starved, took on a different view. A view that I agree upon. And this blog delivers that view to you.
Anyway, if you need to know about women's safety in India, here's the link that gives the ranking of countries with the most number of rapes. US ranks 9th and well, India ranks 56th. See it for yourself.
Nudity was never intolerant in ancient India. Scientifically, because of the Tropical Climate, Indians(men and women alike) dressed only the bottom half of their body, unlike Europeans who used to be fully dressed given the cold climatic conditions.
Our country was sexually tolerant in ages as early as 500 BC. Kamasutra, the best know Sex Education book, was a work on the science of love and was intended as both an exploration of human desire and a technical guide to pleasing a sexual partner within a marriage. Sex was considered to be a duty between partners after marriage which can be depicted in Khajuraho Temples and Ajanta caves.
Osho or Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, was one, who was quite controversial for his OPEN stance on Sex in Modern India.
Osho
He said, no one should suppress his/her desires. His admirers include Dr. Manmohan Singh, Vinod Khanna and Khushwant Singh.
The 'Osho International Meditation Resort' at Pune
'Osho International Meditation Resort' at Pune has more than 2,00,000 visitors annually and is one of the largest spiritual growth centres in the world.
The current thinking that 'sex is a taboo' is the output of two inputs viz. the Mughal, and the Colonial Eras. In the 16th Century, the liberal way of life first got a shot in the arm as the Mughal Era came in with the "purdah" system, which is not only prevalent amongst Muslims in India today but also amongst Hindus.
Aurangzeb
Aurangzeb(The Mughal Emperor)
However, the biggest effect on India's look towards sex was caused by the British Raj. The current colonization of Indian minds with European conservative values was caused by British education, administration and literature that was mostly biased. Indians thus converted their religious practices and moral values to Victorian kinds. Consider current issues. Unlike western cultures considering Homosexuality as being anti-social or psychopathological requiring correction or cure, Ancient India already knew about 'tritiya-prakriti' or Third Nature(transgenders, homosexuals, transsexuals, bisexuals etc). God is Ardhanarisvara for Hindus, which means half male and half female, and hence they have a semi-divine status with the power to bless as well as curse.
Gay Pride at Toronto
Taking example of Gods, Lord Ayyappa was born of Lord Shiva and Mohini. Mohini was a female incarnation of Vishnu. Aravan Festivals is just one of the many festivals of the third sex celebrated in India.
The controversial Kinsey Report
Ofcourse, we dont need Dr. Alfred Kinsey to conduct a survey of millions and tell us how sick the Victorian kind of values were.
Though Britishers were kicked out of India, their laws(read JOKES) still rule us. E.g. Section 377 in the Indian Judiciary.
So chill! We might have not been to the moon first(we havent yet), or have launched missiles from Space, but, Hey! We were the first Sexually Liberate country.
Time for some practicals:
Switch(tryThese) {
case 1:
The next time a politician tells you to NOT celebrate Valentines Day, because lovers cannot exhibit affection, hand him a book of Kamasutra.
The Kamasutra
case 2:
When he tells you to ban nude arts from the art galleries calling them AGAINST INDIAN CULTURE take him on a visit to Khajuraho Temples. If he is against nudity, make him understand how people of different geographical locations dress according to their climatic conditions. Cover him in sweater from head to toe and send him to Alaska, and revert, not until he accords with you.
case 3: If he tells you to ban Sex Education from Schools , slap him and give him a second copy of Kamasutra. And slap him again, because we arent living in the Stone Age. Each child has got access to the internet; a home for nearly 4.2 million porn websites, a sight good for sour eyes.
case 4:
If he tells you to be homophobic and bash up homosexuals and transexuals or ban movies like FIRE(or Psst! GirlFriend) tell him that in Ancient India(and even today) Hindu Priests performed Same-Sex marriages.
Navratna Tel
Put on Navratna Tel on his head and explain that Priests believe "Love is the result of attachments from previous births and that marriage, as a union of spirit, is existing outside gender".
default:
Even if after all this he doesnot understand then drink a glass of Adam's Ale and arrange a Short-Course in Indian History for him. If he doesnt understand even then, punch him with your bunch of fives and send him back to nursery.
How to punch for greater effect
}
And by the way! It is no longer a-la-mode to say, "We have been victimized by British Imperialism and Mughals". Shahrukh Khan will not cry with you on that holding a whisky bottle. It is time to stop complaining and change and become the Shahrukh of Swades;not of Devdas.
Dont be a Devdas
The only way India can decrease population and its ranking in AIDS is by letting its people freely talk about sex. Politicians will remain politicians, leave them alone as they are sure to enter the door with the "Abandon-hope-all-ye-who-enter-here" inscription on it. However, if they are adamant and say if they dont want to EVEN speak of "Condoms" openly, try this trick on them. Ask him, "Pata hain! DUM mar gaya! Arrey! Apna DUM" (DUM pronounced like DUM in DUMMY). He is sure to respond, "Kaun DUM?". And voila! There you are.
Please note, I am not blaming the media, for pinpointing only on negative aspects. If it wasnt for the media telecasting the molestation(whole day long), the police wouldnt have acted on the "minor issue" like they have done now.
We call the western world OPEN. But they are actually moving back to our times. Dont you think this is a Circle and that we are going back to the same point? Dont you think we are already going against the grain?
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Our beautiful skin!!
Well, remember when you get a cut or burn or some injury, your daily activities seem to suffer because of that injury. We tend to understand how IMPORTANT that part of the body is, however small it might be; how we take care of the injured part with all our heart, but as the injury fades away we seem to forget the pain and we strike back to our adventurous ways.
I got into a bit of an unfortunate mishap during diwali. Yeah! Crackers intimidate me. Especially when my friends seem to enjoy it as a sport, to throw them lit up on people and more especially when it is our very own "RASSI BOMB". Man! I fell down trying to escape the sudden attack, injuring a finger on my left hand.
It was terrible after that. I couldnt bend my finger. A single cut on the left hand caused bigger problems.
But it was interesting to see how the cut got filled up in a week. Okay! Many might not agree upon the INTERESTING part, but it is ACTUALLY interesting when you understand how beautifully our body works. I wanted to capture all these. You will find here a series of photos of the development of the skin taken between Day One to Day Seven.
KSINGH'S JOKES - 5
If it's Sody Singh Kahlon who is regaling audiences with his comedies in Britain, Iqbal Singh Bhan is the new Sikh comedy icon in the US. Perhaps the only Sikh stand up comedian in the US , sixty-eight years old Bhan aka Bali Bhan has performed shows at New York's Times Square,the Laugh Factory, Comedy and other prestigious venues around the US.
"I am quite serious about this new found career in comedy", says Bhan who made forays into the entertainment industry after his recent retirement from the corporate world.I don't like to hurt anyone with my jokes and never swear. And I definitely don't do Sardar jokes", adds Bhan who was in India recently.
When asked at one of his gigs if he knew any four letter word (the mainstayof many stand-up comedians), Bali's reply was "Yup, F.O. R.K. fork. Do you want to know another?
L..O..V..E..love!"
But by far, the question he is asked most, is about his turban --the reason why he wears it.
According to Bhan his responses vary from "Because I'm bald", to"Because I have something to hide", to finally saying "It's a part ofmy religion", thus creating cross cultural awareness through humour."We are all brothers, but born to different mothers", he often says at his shows.
Bhan , after immigration to the US in 1960, had made a few television appearances, even demonstrating how to tie a turban, and earned extra dollars through a stint in modelling, which he only stopped when advertisements featuring him turned up at unsavoury places.
According to Manpreet Kaur, a freelance journalist from Australia,humour came naturally to Bhan and he was seriously funny. He always has a gag up his sleeve, she says."His hallmark is clean crisp humour that people of any age, race orbackground can relate to, she adds.
Bhan who has lived most of his life in US said, "his heart was still in India and he wanted to perform in his native country, sometime."
"I 'm a simple guy who loves to make people laugh. Majority of us take life too seriously and forget to enjoy its simple pleasures i.e.laughter. My goal is to help people laugh and provide maximum comic relief around the world," he says. Of course, laughingly !
Posted by Serious KnickKnacker at 5:25 AM 0 comments Links to this post
Labels: Sikh Comedians
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Sikh Girl in US Army-Father asks Punjabis to shun Female Foeticide
"Daughters are a treasure. Please do not abort them".
In a straight forward message to fellow Punjabis, Mahan Singh, father of US army girl 'Specialist Ranbir Kaur, a Sikh girl who is performing front-line army duty in Iraq, said "that he would like Ranbir to be born as his daughter again and again.
Mahan Singh, a grape farmer in California, was visiting his native village Nijjran in Jalandhar district.
Indian born Ranbir who had donned the M-16 at a tender age of seventeen had created waves amongst the US Sikhs, becoming the firstSikh girl to have joined the US Army. Ranbir had shot into news again in 2006 after she was posted in Afghanistan on active war duty.
Presently Ranbir is in Iraq, posted near the Kuwait border where she is performing her duty as a gunner.Mahan Singh said, "that his daughter had not only brought pride to his family but the entire Sikh community of the US was proud of his daughter's decision. Though just a soldier in the army but her decision to join the US Army had helped US Sikhs to showcase their commitment towards their adopted country.
"Punjabis must shun female foeticide or their race will slowly dwindle as Punjabi boys will have to seek girls outside the state, said Mahan Singh.
According to him girls should be given the freedom to choose from whatever they wanted to do. "I have no regrets of Ranbir joining the army, though presently she is in the most violent part of the world. In fact she had got injured due to a gun a malfunction but she is back in action,"added Mahan Singh.
Mahan Singh who has two daughters and a son, said Ranbir had never failed in her family duties as well.
Recalling the time when he had been hospitalised due to a massive heart attack, Mahan Singh, said,Ranbir had taken centre-stage, taking care of him as well as the farm.
"Even now when she calls from Iraq her first question is about my diet," said Mahan. "Hope you are not eating too much of the banned stuff daddy, is usually Ranbir's first question, "added Mahan Singh.
Posted by Serious KnickKnacker at 2:11 AM 0 comments Links to this post
Labels: Female Foeticide
Monday, February 4, 2008
India-Is it the right time to invest in stocks and Mutual funds?
Swinging like a pendulum, the Indian stock market (present index hovering around 18,500) has been lucky for few and nightmarish for most.
Given the circumstances and global cues, most financial advisors suggest retail and first time investors should invest via Mutual Funds, only.
In this blog, for the benefit of viewers , we seek expert opinion on which stocks and Mutual funds to buy. Also, what would be more profitable -investing in blue chip stocks/mutual funds or real estate ?
Disclaimer- This is only a discussion. Please consult your financial advisor before investing in any sector.
Posted by Serious KnickKnacker at 12:19 PM 0 comments Links to this post
Labels: Stocks
Sikhs Unlimited
Sikhs Unlimited
A Book Review by MANJYOT KAUR
SIKHS UNLIMITED, by Khushwant Singh. Rupa & Co., New Delhi, 2007. ISBN-13: 978-81-291-1207-1. ix+211 pages. Price: Rs. 495.
Since the very beginning of the twentieth century, Sikhs have been successfully carving out their own exclusive niches in the West, excelling in many spheres of endeavor. This book, subtitled "A travelogue from Delhi to Los Angeles via London", gives fourteen such stories of notable achievement, showcasing Sikhs in Britain and the United States.
Its author, Chandigarh-based journalist Khushwant Singh, was a freelancer for the Tribune before joining the Times of India in 2002. He is also a regular columnist for sikhchic.com . Besides his career as a writer, he manages his ancestral farm in Hoshiarpur, Punjab.
Speaking of sikhchic.com - which previously published an article ("On the Global Sikh Trail") heralding the imminent arrival of this work - fully half of the chapters of Sikhs Unlimited highlight people who have already been featured on this website's "pages", some in excerpts taken from the book itself. These are: the artists known as "The Singh Twins"; the chef, Tony Singh; Fauja Singh, the nonagenarian marathoner; Ranbir Kaur, the young soldier; the guitarist "Hargo" (Hargobind Hari Singh); Gurinder Kaur Chadha, the filmmaker; and the businessman, Gurujot Singh Khalsa.
Of course, the successes enjoyed by the remaining seven individuals are no less noteworthy.
One of these is the British-born comedian, Sody Singh Kahlon, founder of "The Funjabis", who is not only "an icon of the British Sikh comedy industry", but of mainstream comedy in the U.K., as well. His adroit use of humor to teach serious messages about Sikhi and Sikh heritage to young people in the Diaspora is nowhere as evident as in his present act, "Soul Sikher", which revolves around "Paul, a.k.a. (Asianly Known As) Palwinder", a young Sikh totally immersed in British city life, until he gets a "reluctant re-acquaintance with his roots", via a one-way ticket to Punjab.
Next comes "the Godfather of Pop Bhangra Music", the fifty-something singer Harcharanjit ("Channi") Singh. Born near Malerkotla, he immigrated to England in 1976. Boosted by his leadership of the live band, "Alaap", his blockbuster career forever changed the face of Punjabi music in the British Diaspora. Not only is his own music-making far from over, his daughter is now following in his footsteps as a successful musician, as well.
"If there was no Harbhajan Singh Samra", this book's author confidently claims, "America would never have tasted bhindi". So are we introduced to the "Okra King", a savvy agricultural marketer who has created a unique niche as the largest seller of traditional Indian fruits and vegetables in the U.S. Jalandhar-born, he arrived in California in 1985, after a career as a practicing agronomist in India. Specializing in chilies, mangoes, and gourds such as the karela and tinda, his company's turnover has been estimated by The New York Times at over $10 million.
The first Indian cardiologist in America to hold a U.S. patent (he now owns twenty-four of them), Dr. Harvinder Singh Sahota is the inventor of the "Perfusion Balloon", an innovative device used in angioplasty surgeries worldwide. A sickly, fragile child who more than amply fulfilled his father's gratitude-fueled wish that he become a life-saving doctor, he migrated to England in 1965, and has enjoyed a highly lucrative practice in the U.S. since 1974.
As founder of a multi-million dollar polymer firm, Bikaner-born Ratanjit Singh Sondhe, in the U.S. since 1968, is a consummate master in successfully fusing Sikh tenets with modern corporate thinking. With his trademark humility and devotion to quality, he sees himself as "a manager of the resources of the divine", adding, "Excellence is the mission at POLY-CARB, because when you are serving the divine, how can you be mediocre?"
Chirinjeev Singh Kathuria, chairman of PlanetSpace, came to the U.S. as an infant in 1967. As leader of a company worth more than $340 million, his ambitious goal is nothing less than "space tourism" - fifteen-minute sub-orbital space flights, available to the "general public" (for a cool half-million dollar fee!) by 2009. His secret of success comes from Alexander the Great: "He conquered the world by not delaying".
Last, but by no means least, is Gurutej Singh Khalsa, who converted to Sikhism after entering the fold of Harbhajan Singh Yogi in 1969. As a law-enforcement agent with the New Mexico State Police, he was kicked off the force in 1979 because of his refusal to shave his beard and remove his turban. Crediting "Yogi Bhajan" for his support and inspiration, Gurutej responded by founding Akal Security, now one of America's largest private security providers. Headquartered in the Espanola, N.M.-based Sikh Dharma complex, his firm is contracted to protect a number of critical national defense and intelligence facilities, as well as a major U.S. airport.
In addition to an Introduction and an attractive central section of color photographs, this work contains a helpful Glossary, as well as an Index. It is interesting to note that a CD album by "Hargo", In Your Eyes , is also enclosed (in a plastic sleeve attached to the book's inside back cover).
It would surely be well-nigh impossible to disagree with Khushwant Singh's assessment of the fifteen Sikh men and women he has chosen to grace the pages of this book. They are indeed highly successful and inspiring individuals. Moreover, as the author says in his Introduction, there are many other luminaries living in the Diaspora; some of the major ones were deliberately left out of this work, in order to highlight the achievements of those who may be lesser known.
Given what he has done here with those in the American and British Sikh communities, it may be an opportune time for him to write a similar work on Sikh-Canadians. And why stop there? Further books on "leading lights" of Southeast Asia, East Africa and Oceania would also be welcome additions.
The author's informal writing style is well-suited to the anecdotal nature of this book's subject matter. Many readers, especially the young audience specifically targeted in the Introduction, will find it quite appealing. (Nevertheless, more accurate proofreading and closer editorial attention to grammar and syntax would have been of great benefit.) However, it does, in my view, "cross the line" at times, either taking its typically hard-edged irony to the brink of offensiveness, or indulging in what might be considered excessive hyperbole.
For instance, a happily-married man (in this case, chef Tony Singh) hardly deserves to be qualified, even if only in jest, as a "damn hen-pecked joru ka ghulam (slave to his wife)", just because he wants to skip a day of interviewing to privately celebrate his wedding anniversary. And, while "Hargo", a twenty-year-old rock guitarist, is undoubtedly a talented young musician of enormous promise, a comparison to Mardana, Guru Nanak's minstrel companion, would perhaps be an overstatement.
These caveats aside, if you are looking for a "feel-good" book that is full of chatty enthusiasm and chardi kalaa, you will find Sikhs Unlimited to be a very enjoyable and satisfying read.
This book can be obtained at
http://www.ethnicisland.com/
www.amazon.com
www.indiaplaza.com
www.jainbookdepot.com
Review- Courtsey http://www.sikhchic.com/
Posted by Serious KnickKnacker at 5:34 AM 0 comments Links to this post
Labels: Books
Sunday, February 3, 2008
In the Centre of Manhattan- Model tells who Sikhs are !
Washington: They have gained a reputation as fearless fighters and fabulous farmers. They have a genius with things mechanical and they are frontiersmen in exploration. Now, a 20-foot high mural in Midtown Manhattan and a slick new video of a handsome young Sikh is explaining the famed Indian community to the world while seeking to overturn prejudice and stereotype that has followed them in the post-9/11 era.
Sandeep ‘‘Sonny’’ Singh Caberwal is the talk — and toast — of the community for becoming the poster boy for Kenneth Cole, the American fashion designer, in his new campaign titled ‘‘We all walk in different shoes,’’ celebrating what is being called the company’s ‘‘25 years of non-uniform thinkers’’. Although the campaign features other unusual representatives, such as an Israeli and Palestinian film director duo and an HIV positive magazine editor, it’s Caberwal’s striking visage that is attracting attention in a country where every new face has its few seconds of fame.
The Kenneth Cole campaign comes at a time when there are still reports of hate crimes and victimization of Sikhs in the west despite efforts by community activists and organizations like Sikh Coalition and United Sikhs to educate the people. Only last week, a New Jersey woman was arrested after trying to yank the turban of a Sikh male in a bar. Caberwal is an entrepreneur, coowner of the Tavalon Tea Company in New York City.
An alumnus of Duke University, North Carolina, and a graduate of Washington DC’s Georgetown University Law School, he is also an accomplished tabla player who has cut a record. ‘I always draw strength from keeping my identity unique’ Washington: Kenneth Cole, the American fashion designer, has found a new poster boy in Sonny Caberwal for his new campaign titled ‘‘We all walk in different shoes.’’
Caberwal explains in the video, ‘‘I am an entrepreneur. I am a member of the Sikh religion. Sikhism is a monotheistic religion. It started in India in the 1500s. As part of our religion, we believe that Sikh men maintain a very strong visual identity. And we’re often, in this day and age, mistaken for Muslims. “I always drew strength from keeping this unique identity to remind me that I am different. For me it’s a matter of reinforcement, but for other people it’s become a symbol of hate, and a symbol of fundamentalism. When September 11 happened, I was in law school, and I was watching TV with all my peers, and I looked around and the Taliban came on TV. And they looked just like Sikh people...’’
While the US administration has also been helpful in combating prejudice and hate crimes by swiftly prosecuting perpetrators, popular culture is playing its role. In Spike Lee’s “The Inside Man”, starring Denzel Washington, a young Sikh named Vikram Walia (played by Waris Ahluwalia) is seen being roughed up by cops even as he attempts to explain the religion and why he needs to keep wearing his turban. When he complains of prejudice in America, Denzel Washington sardonically says: ‘‘I bet you don’t have any problems hailing a cab in New York’’ — a reference both to the many Sikh cabbies in the city and also the difficulty blacks face in getting cabs. It’s not the first time a Sikh male has had a crack at top-flight modelling in the west.
That honour goes to Vikram Chatwal, the entrepreneur son of the hotelier and Clinton acolyte Sant Singh Chatwal, who did a Vogue spread some time back, among other gigs.
Kenneth Cole, who incidentally is married to the daughter of former New York mayor Mario Cuomo, has a long history of supporting socially conscious initiatives, including the AWEARNESS campaign focused on Aids and homelessness.
Sikh websites and blogs are full of praise for his social awareness efforts. ‘‘As far as I am concerned, the team at Kenneth Cole could not have picked a more appropriate Sikh face for this ad campaign,’’ one blogger wrote on the site, SikhChic.
Courtsey-Times of India/www.sikhchic.com
Posted by Serious KnickKnacker at 8:38 PM 0 comments Links to this post
Labels: Positive Sikh Images
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Just Freeze !
Friends for years Kabir, Ronnie, Karan, Adiraj and Zorawar were planning a holiday together. Ronnie, who had recently been married, was keen to make clubbing the highpoint of the holiday.
Let’s go to Delhi next weekend” he suggested while pouring a whiskey for Kabir, who had just entered. Ronnie’s logic was, that since Karan, Kabir and he were engaged in the profession of farming, the trio were at a locational disadvantage when it came to high-street life.
Moreover, Ronnie who was still attending post wedding dinners wanted a break from the rigorous routine of butter chickens and scotch with relatives; was keen to take the new bride, partying; and was not averse to the idea of leching at women dressed in sleazy clothes in Delhi’s night-clubs.
Knowing that the majority would gladly agree with the last option, Ronnie shrewdly threw open the ‘chalo Delhi’ debate. With eyes on Kabir, for Ronnie knew that depending on his mood-swings Kabir could take either position- philosophically or physically driven -Ronnie uttered his self-made cliché “let’s all happen in Delhi.”
It was Kabir’s new Tata Sierra that was selected to transport the farmer couples to the national capital. Kabir’s wife Zara, Karan his wife Rehmat and Ronnie and his wife Tara on a cold December Saturday morning set on their journey to Delhi. It didn’t matter if the five seater Indian SUV got crammed from inside. Still in their honeymoon mode, the newly weds Ronnie and Tara, sticking to each other barely occupied two seats, one and a half to be precise.
“Thank you guys for taking us out on a shopping trip to Delhi”, remarked Zara from the rear seat. And you actually managed convincing Kabir to allow us women to shop is commendable, carried on Zara while giving a pat on Ronnie’s back who was sitting two passengers away.
That a stronger pat would have brought out in the open the giggle, Zara had no idea. Ronnie understandably had played his cards well- lured his friends by talking about the hot Delhi women and convinced the Hoshiarpur lasses by throwing them the shopping bait. No wonder friends had nicknamed Ronnie as shurli, or tale-spinner in English. Sensing trouble, Ronnie quickly changed the topic and bringing some sort of urgency in his voice, he asked Karan who was sitting on the navigator seat about Zorawar’s and Adiraj’s plans. Zorawar and Adiraj resided in Chandigarh, the joint capital of two north Indian states.
Zorawar who worked as a journalist with India’s largest daily The Times of India was married to Radha, his colleague at one point of time. Adiraj an upcoming entrepreneur was the only bachelor in the group. His tales of non compliance with time schedules were legendary. “They will reach Delhi straight from Chandigarh and will meet us at Vasant Vihar,” replied Karan. “Pity we can’t carry our own booze, because of this damned prohibition in Haryana state,” carried on Karan.
Telephone Dairies were out the moment the Tata Sierra touched Vasant Vihar (Kabir’s maternal grandparent’s house). The Chandigarh guys contrary to expectations also joined the group within half an hour. Ronnie and Adiraj both alumnus of Symbiosis Institute, Pune, had a horde of friends in Delhi. More girls, less boys. The star however was Deepa Mehta, a former Miss India runner up. The race was who spoke to her first.
“Deepa has suggested that we go to Jasbir’s tonight”, announced Ronnie, obviously having connected to the Miss India before Adiraj . Perhaps, the half an hour gap had proved costly for Adiraj. Only, if Adiraj had been pro-active he could have easily called Deepa from his mobile while in transit –something that Ronnie couldn’t have dared to with Tara by his side in the car. Tara in the entire seven hour journey had clutched her husband’s right hand tightly. She would also at times drop her head on his shoulder, seeking hundred percent attention.
“It’s located in the Asiad village and according to her it’s the most rocking place in Delhi these days, blurted out Ronnie in total excitement.
Kabir realising that Deepa’s word was gospel truth for both the boys, nodded his head in approval and said “If Deepa says so, her word must be honoured. But Ronnie are you sure it’s Jasbir’s asked Kabir? “Hundred percent,” replied Ronnie after which the all Punjabi troupe comprising of three women and five men headed for the Asiad village.
“Jasbir’s? We’ve never heard that name before”, replied a group of students, sitting on the steps of the Asiad village parking lot. “Yes, Miss India has advised my friend to visit Jasbir's in the Asiad village," said Adiraj while pointing towards Ronnie. "No sir, there’s no place with the name Jasbir’s. Are you sure it’s Jasbir’s," they asked again.
By now the rest of the gang had also disembarked from the cars and cluttered around Zorawar and Ronnie asking Ronnie whether he had heard the right name. "Jasbir’s or maybe it was Just freeze,"said Ronnie looking up again towards the group of students. "No Sir, there’s also no place with the name Just Freeze," they replied.
"Oh! Maybe you are talking about Geoffrey’s in Ansal Plaza," shrieked one girl. “Ohi Ohi, (yes, yes)that’s the one", exclaimed Ronnie suddenly remembering the name.
“Freeze guys- they are Punjabis,” yelled out one of the guys who had followed the Punjabi farmers to their car.
PS-This is a true story. Names have been changed so as not to embarass the Punjabi boys any further.
Posted by Serious KnickKnacker at 11:05 PM 0 comments Links to this post
Labels: Party
Friday, February 1, 2008
Sikh Diaspora Versus India
During the course of travel for my first book, to the west, I was astonished to listen to some of the views a section of Sikhs held.Even after almost one and a half decades of Punjab terrorism being comprehensively quelled and necessary balm (though not of very high quality) being applied, some of them not only rabidly hold an anti-Indian government stance, but a few still think Khalistan is feasible.
Also, during the travel, I observed that the west, especially America,was never so unsafe for the Sikhs as post 9/11. Many Sikhs had been targeted, some even killed by ignorant people who mistook the Sikhs,because of their turbans and flowing beards, as Arabs.
Being a community that has a natural instinct for survival and enterprise I was particularly interested in examining how the Sikhswere grappling with a post 9/11 America. While one of the significant outcomes of these circumstances has been the unprecedented rise of Sikh activism in America in terms of mushroom growth of Sikh advocacy organizations, the most note worthy is the dual policy adopted by those few maverick Sikhs who think that India as a country is Sikhs worst enemy. A sad situation by all means as India is from where we get our social, cultural and moral values.
Anybody who has traveled to the West in the last six years would agree that for a brown skin person the safest bet is calling himself an Indian. I know of several Pakistanis and Bangladeshis whom I met in UK and USA who have been doing it for years.
Similarly, Sikhs who would enter into an animated discussion over why Sikhs urgently needed Khalistan, when confronted with a situation whereby someone mistook them for an Arab, would call out I'm not an Arab but from India.
Not only do they use this line when fearing a physical assault, but they continuously use it for business enhancement as Indians over the years have carved out a reputation of being hard-working and professional.
"I concede this point", said the Fresno doctor who had got into a heated argument and on the verge of kicking me out of his clinic because of my outburst accusing him has a lunatic expatriate, divorced from ground realities. "But before you leave, answer my one question," he barked? "How do you justify the storming of the Golden Temple, followed by the 1984 Sikh riots?"
A tough one, this!
Khushwant Singh has recently authored 'Sikhs Unlimited' (Rupa & Co). It's a travelogue from UK to USA, featuring fourteen extra ordinary Sikh menand women. This article is an observation, made during the travel.
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Labels: Political
Destination Punjab
No amount of flak is reason enough to justify that NRIconclaves, like the one hosted recently, by the Punjab Government and Punjab Chambers of Commerce should not be held, because interact we must.
Having said that, taking this conclave forward, out of the ambit of mere hype, would be something of a challenge which no government has been able to meet, as yet.NRI role in development of Punjab is a 'give and take' phenomenon with the Punjab Government attempting to send a message across that it wasready to meet all the demands, required to make Punjab a preffered destination.
While the NRI's have never failed the 'Punjab Chalo' call, the readiness factor of the Punjab government is always a matter of suspicion. Not that there is any doubt in government's intent, but because of the very way it functions ,the government inadvertentlyputs its own plans in jeopardy.Impolite airport staff, insensitive police and an arrogant bureaucracyhas been some of the main grudges of the NRIs. Given from the business climate the NRIs come from, this treatment does not come as a handy tool to woo them. Perhaps this is exactly what Ujjal Dosanjh, formerPremier of British Columbia, meant when he said, societal change is imperative to attract parvasis.
For many NRI's the attitude only confirms that nothing has changed.A systems check of business environment also does not augur well forNRI investment. Turbulent political climate surely puts them off,reminding them of Punjab's age hold history of power struggles. An ad hoc and opaque system of functioning also ruins Punjab's case. Sample this -a US based software company owned by an Indian has been looking for land in the Mohali IT Park. His fix is that while he is sitting on an investment amount of three million dollars , he cannot, as majorityof the transaction in Punjab is in black money and all his money isaccounted for.Or take NRI Lajpat Rai Munger's case who donated a multi-crore IT centre in Hoshiarpur to the Punjab University just because because he was fed up of corruption. He had set up the institute seven years ago in partnership with California State University, Fresno.
Vision Punjab is a long drawn process, akin to developing a cricket team for the World Cup. Look for quick results and you might end lagging behind even the minnows. Since a start is yet to be made, should Punjab be a destination fornew Gen next knowledge based businesses. Or should it just remain a speculators destination, buying and selling land. Real estate is a great money spinner, but for Gen next businesses and true state building, involving the younger generation Diaspora is imperative.
New Businesses, other than the land lollipop, need infrastructure, HRD resource, high bandwidth, efficient and comfortable transport system,power and roads. Heat, stench, traffic chaos and delays are the other significant deterrents, especially for the young generation. A few years ago a young NRI cardiologist who joined a leading Hospital in Mohali, left in a huff after he was beaten by goons on one of the main highways, while negotiating pot-holes. Taking him as a drunken driver,the doctor was beaten black and blue.
'Agenda Punjab' feel many top notch NRIs should foster to make Punjab a hot destination, where the mind is allowed to flow freely.Something like what a Xerox or Hewlett Packard did to Bay area in SanFrancisco. It has been said that new trends in America are invented inthe Bay Area, amplified in L.A. and then broadcast from New York.Perhaps, that's the way to go for Punjab, powering the mind.
"I am quite serious about this new found career in comedy", says Bhan who made forays into the entertainment industry after his recent retirement from the corporate world.I don't like to hurt anyone with my jokes and never swear. And I definitely don't do Sardar jokes", adds Bhan who was in India recently.
When asked at one of his gigs if he knew any four letter word (the mainstayof many stand-up comedians), Bali's reply was "Yup, F.O. R.K. fork. Do you want to know another?
L..O..V..E..love!"
But by far, the question he is asked most, is about his turban --the reason why he wears it.
According to Bhan his responses vary from "Because I'm bald", to"Because I have something to hide", to finally saying "It's a part ofmy religion", thus creating cross cultural awareness through humour."We are all brothers, but born to different mothers", he often says at his shows.
Bhan , after immigration to the US in 1960, had made a few television appearances, even demonstrating how to tie a turban, and earned extra dollars through a stint in modelling, which he only stopped when advertisements featuring him turned up at unsavoury places.
According to Manpreet Kaur, a freelance journalist from Australia,humour came naturally to Bhan and he was seriously funny. He always has a gag up his sleeve, she says."His hallmark is clean crisp humour that people of any age, race orbackground can relate to, she adds.
Bhan who has lived most of his life in US said, "his heart was still in India and he wanted to perform in his native country, sometime."
"I 'm a simple guy who loves to make people laugh. Majority of us take life too seriously and forget to enjoy its simple pleasures i.e.laughter. My goal is to help people laugh and provide maximum comic relief around the world," he says. Of course, laughingly !
Posted by Serious KnickKnacker at 5:25 AM 0 comments Links to this post
Labels: Sikh Comedians
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Sikh Girl in US Army-Father asks Punjabis to shun Female Foeticide
"Daughters are a treasure. Please do not abort them".
In a straight forward message to fellow Punjabis, Mahan Singh, father of US army girl 'Specialist Ranbir Kaur, a Sikh girl who is performing front-line army duty in Iraq, said "that he would like Ranbir to be born as his daughter again and again.
Mahan Singh, a grape farmer in California, was visiting his native village Nijjran in Jalandhar district.
Indian born Ranbir who had donned the M-16 at a tender age of seventeen had created waves amongst the US Sikhs, becoming the firstSikh girl to have joined the US Army. Ranbir had shot into news again in 2006 after she was posted in Afghanistan on active war duty.
Presently Ranbir is in Iraq, posted near the Kuwait border where she is performing her duty as a gunner.Mahan Singh said, "that his daughter had not only brought pride to his family but the entire Sikh community of the US was proud of his daughter's decision. Though just a soldier in the army but her decision to join the US Army had helped US Sikhs to showcase their commitment towards their adopted country.
"Punjabis must shun female foeticide or their race will slowly dwindle as Punjabi boys will have to seek girls outside the state, said Mahan Singh.
According to him girls should be given the freedom to choose from whatever they wanted to do. "I have no regrets of Ranbir joining the army, though presently she is in the most violent part of the world. In fact she had got injured due to a gun a malfunction but she is back in action,"added Mahan Singh.
Mahan Singh who has two daughters and a son, said Ranbir had never failed in her family duties as well.
Recalling the time when he had been hospitalised due to a massive heart attack, Mahan Singh, said,Ranbir had taken centre-stage, taking care of him as well as the farm.
"Even now when she calls from Iraq her first question is about my diet," said Mahan. "Hope you are not eating too much of the banned stuff daddy, is usually Ranbir's first question, "added Mahan Singh.
Posted by Serious KnickKnacker at 2:11 AM 0 comments Links to this post
Labels: Female Foeticide
Monday, February 4, 2008
India-Is it the right time to invest in stocks and Mutual funds?
Swinging like a pendulum, the Indian stock market (present index hovering around 18,500) has been lucky for few and nightmarish for most.
Given the circumstances and global cues, most financial advisors suggest retail and first time investors should invest via Mutual Funds, only.
In this blog, for the benefit of viewers , we seek expert opinion on which stocks and Mutual funds to buy. Also, what would be more profitable -investing in blue chip stocks/mutual funds or real estate ?
Disclaimer- This is only a discussion. Please consult your financial advisor before investing in any sector.
Posted by Serious KnickKnacker at 12:19 PM 0 comments Links to this post
Labels: Stocks
Sikhs Unlimited
Sikhs Unlimited
A Book Review by MANJYOT KAUR
SIKHS UNLIMITED, by Khushwant Singh. Rupa & Co., New Delhi, 2007. ISBN-13: 978-81-291-1207-1. ix+211 pages. Price: Rs. 495.
Since the very beginning of the twentieth century, Sikhs have been successfully carving out their own exclusive niches in the West, excelling in many spheres of endeavor. This book, subtitled "A travelogue from Delhi to Los Angeles via London", gives fourteen such stories of notable achievement, showcasing Sikhs in Britain and the United States.
Its author, Chandigarh-based journalist Khushwant Singh, was a freelancer for the Tribune before joining the Times of India in 2002. He is also a regular columnist for sikhchic.com . Besides his career as a writer, he manages his ancestral farm in Hoshiarpur, Punjab.
Speaking of sikhchic.com - which previously published an article ("On the Global Sikh Trail") heralding the imminent arrival of this work - fully half of the chapters of Sikhs Unlimited highlight people who have already been featured on this website's "pages", some in excerpts taken from the book itself. These are: the artists known as "The Singh Twins"; the chef, Tony Singh; Fauja Singh, the nonagenarian marathoner; Ranbir Kaur, the young soldier; the guitarist "Hargo" (Hargobind Hari Singh); Gurinder Kaur Chadha, the filmmaker; and the businessman, Gurujot Singh Khalsa.
Of course, the successes enjoyed by the remaining seven individuals are no less noteworthy.
One of these is the British-born comedian, Sody Singh Kahlon, founder of "The Funjabis", who is not only "an icon of the British Sikh comedy industry", but of mainstream comedy in the U.K., as well. His adroit use of humor to teach serious messages about Sikhi and Sikh heritage to young people in the Diaspora is nowhere as evident as in his present act, "Soul Sikher", which revolves around "Paul, a.k.a. (Asianly Known As) Palwinder", a young Sikh totally immersed in British city life, until he gets a "reluctant re-acquaintance with his roots", via a one-way ticket to Punjab.
Next comes "the Godfather of Pop Bhangra Music", the fifty-something singer Harcharanjit ("Channi") Singh. Born near Malerkotla, he immigrated to England in 1976. Boosted by his leadership of the live band, "Alaap", his blockbuster career forever changed the face of Punjabi music in the British Diaspora. Not only is his own music-making far from over, his daughter is now following in his footsteps as a successful musician, as well.
"If there was no Harbhajan Singh Samra", this book's author confidently claims, "America would never have tasted bhindi". So are we introduced to the "Okra King", a savvy agricultural marketer who has created a unique niche as the largest seller of traditional Indian fruits and vegetables in the U.S. Jalandhar-born, he arrived in California in 1985, after a career as a practicing agronomist in India. Specializing in chilies, mangoes, and gourds such as the karela and tinda, his company's turnover has been estimated by The New York Times at over $10 million.
The first Indian cardiologist in America to hold a U.S. patent (he now owns twenty-four of them), Dr. Harvinder Singh Sahota is the inventor of the "Perfusion Balloon", an innovative device used in angioplasty surgeries worldwide. A sickly, fragile child who more than amply fulfilled his father's gratitude-fueled wish that he become a life-saving doctor, he migrated to England in 1965, and has enjoyed a highly lucrative practice in the U.S. since 1974.
As founder of a multi-million dollar polymer firm, Bikaner-born Ratanjit Singh Sondhe, in the U.S. since 1968, is a consummate master in successfully fusing Sikh tenets with modern corporate thinking. With his trademark humility and devotion to quality, he sees himself as "a manager of the resources of the divine", adding, "Excellence is the mission at POLY-CARB, because when you are serving the divine, how can you be mediocre?"
Chirinjeev Singh Kathuria, chairman of PlanetSpace, came to the U.S. as an infant in 1967. As leader of a company worth more than $340 million, his ambitious goal is nothing less than "space tourism" - fifteen-minute sub-orbital space flights, available to the "general public" (for a cool half-million dollar fee!) by 2009. His secret of success comes from Alexander the Great: "He conquered the world by not delaying".
Last, but by no means least, is Gurutej Singh Khalsa, who converted to Sikhism after entering the fold of Harbhajan Singh Yogi in 1969. As a law-enforcement agent with the New Mexico State Police, he was kicked off the force in 1979 because of his refusal to shave his beard and remove his turban. Crediting "Yogi Bhajan" for his support and inspiration, Gurutej responded by founding Akal Security, now one of America's largest private security providers. Headquartered in the Espanola, N.M.-based Sikh Dharma complex, his firm is contracted to protect a number of critical national defense and intelligence facilities, as well as a major U.S. airport.
In addition to an Introduction and an attractive central section of color photographs, this work contains a helpful Glossary, as well as an Index. It is interesting to note that a CD album by "Hargo", In Your Eyes , is also enclosed (in a plastic sleeve attached to the book's inside back cover).
It would surely be well-nigh impossible to disagree with Khushwant Singh's assessment of the fifteen Sikh men and women he has chosen to grace the pages of this book. They are indeed highly successful and inspiring individuals. Moreover, as the author says in his Introduction, there are many other luminaries living in the Diaspora; some of the major ones were deliberately left out of this work, in order to highlight the achievements of those who may be lesser known.
Given what he has done here with those in the American and British Sikh communities, it may be an opportune time for him to write a similar work on Sikh-Canadians. And why stop there? Further books on "leading lights" of Southeast Asia, East Africa and Oceania would also be welcome additions.
The author's informal writing style is well-suited to the anecdotal nature of this book's subject matter. Many readers, especially the young audience specifically targeted in the Introduction, will find it quite appealing. (Nevertheless, more accurate proofreading and closer editorial attention to grammar and syntax would have been of great benefit.) However, it does, in my view, "cross the line" at times, either taking its typically hard-edged irony to the brink of offensiveness, or indulging in what might be considered excessive hyperbole.
For instance, a happily-married man (in this case, chef Tony Singh) hardly deserves to be qualified, even if only in jest, as a "damn hen-pecked joru ka ghulam (slave to his wife)", just because he wants to skip a day of interviewing to privately celebrate his wedding anniversary. And, while "Hargo", a twenty-year-old rock guitarist, is undoubtedly a talented young musician of enormous promise, a comparison to Mardana, Guru Nanak's minstrel companion, would perhaps be an overstatement.
These caveats aside, if you are looking for a "feel-good" book that is full of chatty enthusiasm and chardi kalaa, you will find Sikhs Unlimited to be a very enjoyable and satisfying read.
This book can be obtained at
http://www.ethnicisland.com/
www.amazon.com
www.indiaplaza.com
www.jainbookdepot.com
Review- Courtsey http://www.sikhchic.com/
Posted by Serious KnickKnacker at 5:34 AM 0 comments Links to this post
Labels: Books
Sunday, February 3, 2008
In the Centre of Manhattan- Model tells who Sikhs are !
Washington: They have gained a reputation as fearless fighters and fabulous farmers. They have a genius with things mechanical and they are frontiersmen in exploration. Now, a 20-foot high mural in Midtown Manhattan and a slick new video of a handsome young Sikh is explaining the famed Indian community to the world while seeking to overturn prejudice and stereotype that has followed them in the post-9/11 era.
Sandeep ‘‘Sonny’’ Singh Caberwal is the talk — and toast — of the community for becoming the poster boy for Kenneth Cole, the American fashion designer, in his new campaign titled ‘‘We all walk in different shoes,’’ celebrating what is being called the company’s ‘‘25 years of non-uniform thinkers’’. Although the campaign features other unusual representatives, such as an Israeli and Palestinian film director duo and an HIV positive magazine editor, it’s Caberwal’s striking visage that is attracting attention in a country where every new face has its few seconds of fame.
The Kenneth Cole campaign comes at a time when there are still reports of hate crimes and victimization of Sikhs in the west despite efforts by community activists and organizations like Sikh Coalition and United Sikhs to educate the people. Only last week, a New Jersey woman was arrested after trying to yank the turban of a Sikh male in a bar. Caberwal is an entrepreneur, coowner of the Tavalon Tea Company in New York City.
An alumnus of Duke University, North Carolina, and a graduate of Washington DC’s Georgetown University Law School, he is also an accomplished tabla player who has cut a record. ‘I always draw strength from keeping my identity unique’ Washington: Kenneth Cole, the American fashion designer, has found a new poster boy in Sonny Caberwal for his new campaign titled ‘‘We all walk in different shoes.’’
Caberwal explains in the video, ‘‘I am an entrepreneur. I am a member of the Sikh religion. Sikhism is a monotheistic religion. It started in India in the 1500s. As part of our religion, we believe that Sikh men maintain a very strong visual identity. And we’re often, in this day and age, mistaken for Muslims. “I always drew strength from keeping this unique identity to remind me that I am different. For me it’s a matter of reinforcement, but for other people it’s become a symbol of hate, and a symbol of fundamentalism. When September 11 happened, I was in law school, and I was watching TV with all my peers, and I looked around and the Taliban came on TV. And they looked just like Sikh people...’’
While the US administration has also been helpful in combating prejudice and hate crimes by swiftly prosecuting perpetrators, popular culture is playing its role. In Spike Lee’s “The Inside Man”, starring Denzel Washington, a young Sikh named Vikram Walia (played by Waris Ahluwalia) is seen being roughed up by cops even as he attempts to explain the religion and why he needs to keep wearing his turban. When he complains of prejudice in America, Denzel Washington sardonically says: ‘‘I bet you don’t have any problems hailing a cab in New York’’ — a reference both to the many Sikh cabbies in the city and also the difficulty blacks face in getting cabs. It’s not the first time a Sikh male has had a crack at top-flight modelling in the west.
That honour goes to Vikram Chatwal, the entrepreneur son of the hotelier and Clinton acolyte Sant Singh Chatwal, who did a Vogue spread some time back, among other gigs.
Kenneth Cole, who incidentally is married to the daughter of former New York mayor Mario Cuomo, has a long history of supporting socially conscious initiatives, including the AWEARNESS campaign focused on Aids and homelessness.
Sikh websites and blogs are full of praise for his social awareness efforts. ‘‘As far as I am concerned, the team at Kenneth Cole could not have picked a more appropriate Sikh face for this ad campaign,’’ one blogger wrote on the site, SikhChic.
Courtsey-Times of India/www.sikhchic.com
Posted by Serious KnickKnacker at 8:38 PM 0 comments Links to this post
Labels: Positive Sikh Images
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Just Freeze !
Friends for years Kabir, Ronnie, Karan, Adiraj and Zorawar were planning a holiday together. Ronnie, who had recently been married, was keen to make clubbing the highpoint of the holiday.
Let’s go to Delhi next weekend” he suggested while pouring a whiskey for Kabir, who had just entered. Ronnie’s logic was, that since Karan, Kabir and he were engaged in the profession of farming, the trio were at a locational disadvantage when it came to high-street life.
Moreover, Ronnie who was still attending post wedding dinners wanted a break from the rigorous routine of butter chickens and scotch with relatives; was keen to take the new bride, partying; and was not averse to the idea of leching at women dressed in sleazy clothes in Delhi’s night-clubs.
Knowing that the majority would gladly agree with the last option, Ronnie shrewdly threw open the ‘chalo Delhi’ debate. With eyes on Kabir, for Ronnie knew that depending on his mood-swings Kabir could take either position- philosophically or physically driven -Ronnie uttered his self-made cliché “let’s all happen in Delhi.”
It was Kabir’s new Tata Sierra that was selected to transport the farmer couples to the national capital. Kabir’s wife Zara, Karan his wife Rehmat and Ronnie and his wife Tara on a cold December Saturday morning set on their journey to Delhi. It didn’t matter if the five seater Indian SUV got crammed from inside. Still in their honeymoon mode, the newly weds Ronnie and Tara, sticking to each other barely occupied two seats, one and a half to be precise.
“Thank you guys for taking us out on a shopping trip to Delhi”, remarked Zara from the rear seat. And you actually managed convincing Kabir to allow us women to shop is commendable, carried on Zara while giving a pat on Ronnie’s back who was sitting two passengers away.
That a stronger pat would have brought out in the open the giggle, Zara had no idea. Ronnie understandably had played his cards well- lured his friends by talking about the hot Delhi women and convinced the Hoshiarpur lasses by throwing them the shopping bait. No wonder friends had nicknamed Ronnie as shurli, or tale-spinner in English. Sensing trouble, Ronnie quickly changed the topic and bringing some sort of urgency in his voice, he asked Karan who was sitting on the navigator seat about Zorawar’s and Adiraj’s plans. Zorawar and Adiraj resided in Chandigarh, the joint capital of two north Indian states.
Zorawar who worked as a journalist with India’s largest daily The Times of India was married to Radha, his colleague at one point of time. Adiraj an upcoming entrepreneur was the only bachelor in the group. His tales of non compliance with time schedules were legendary. “They will reach Delhi straight from Chandigarh and will meet us at Vasant Vihar,” replied Karan. “Pity we can’t carry our own booze, because of this damned prohibition in Haryana state,” carried on Karan.
Telephone Dairies were out the moment the Tata Sierra touched Vasant Vihar (Kabir’s maternal grandparent’s house). The Chandigarh guys contrary to expectations also joined the group within half an hour. Ronnie and Adiraj both alumnus of Symbiosis Institute, Pune, had a horde of friends in Delhi. More girls, less boys. The star however was Deepa Mehta, a former Miss India runner up. The race was who spoke to her first.
“Deepa has suggested that we go to Jasbir’s tonight”, announced Ronnie, obviously having connected to the Miss India before Adiraj . Perhaps, the half an hour gap had proved costly for Adiraj. Only, if Adiraj had been pro-active he could have easily called Deepa from his mobile while in transit –something that Ronnie couldn’t have dared to with Tara by his side in the car. Tara in the entire seven hour journey had clutched her husband’s right hand tightly. She would also at times drop her head on his shoulder, seeking hundred percent attention.
“It’s located in the Asiad village and according to her it’s the most rocking place in Delhi these days, blurted out Ronnie in total excitement.
Kabir realising that Deepa’s word was gospel truth for both the boys, nodded his head in approval and said “If Deepa says so, her word must be honoured. But Ronnie are you sure it’s Jasbir’s asked Kabir? “Hundred percent,” replied Ronnie after which the all Punjabi troupe comprising of three women and five men headed for the Asiad village.
“Jasbir’s? We’ve never heard that name before”, replied a group of students, sitting on the steps of the Asiad village parking lot. “Yes, Miss India has advised my friend to visit Jasbir's in the Asiad village," said Adiraj while pointing towards Ronnie. "No sir, there’s no place with the name Jasbir’s. Are you sure it’s Jasbir’s," they asked again.
By now the rest of the gang had also disembarked from the cars and cluttered around Zorawar and Ronnie asking Ronnie whether he had heard the right name. "Jasbir’s or maybe it was Just freeze,"said Ronnie looking up again towards the group of students. "No Sir, there’s also no place with the name Just Freeze," they replied.
"Oh! Maybe you are talking about Geoffrey’s in Ansal Plaza," shrieked one girl. “Ohi Ohi, (yes, yes)that’s the one", exclaimed Ronnie suddenly remembering the name.
“Freeze guys- they are Punjabis,” yelled out one of the guys who had followed the Punjabi farmers to their car.
PS-This is a true story. Names have been changed so as not to embarass the Punjabi boys any further.
Posted by Serious KnickKnacker at 11:05 PM 0 comments Links to this post
Labels: Party
Friday, February 1, 2008
Sikh Diaspora Versus India
During the course of travel for my first book, to the west, I was astonished to listen to some of the views a section of Sikhs held.Even after almost one and a half decades of Punjab terrorism being comprehensively quelled and necessary balm (though not of very high quality) being applied, some of them not only rabidly hold an anti-Indian government stance, but a few still think Khalistan is feasible.
Also, during the travel, I observed that the west, especially America,was never so unsafe for the Sikhs as post 9/11. Many Sikhs had been targeted, some even killed by ignorant people who mistook the Sikhs,because of their turbans and flowing beards, as Arabs.
Being a community that has a natural instinct for survival and enterprise I was particularly interested in examining how the Sikhswere grappling with a post 9/11 America. While one of the significant outcomes of these circumstances has been the unprecedented rise of Sikh activism in America in terms of mushroom growth of Sikh advocacy organizations, the most note worthy is the dual policy adopted by those few maverick Sikhs who think that India as a country is Sikhs worst enemy. A sad situation by all means as India is from where we get our social, cultural and moral values.
Anybody who has traveled to the West in the last six years would agree that for a brown skin person the safest bet is calling himself an Indian. I know of several Pakistanis and Bangladeshis whom I met in UK and USA who have been doing it for years.
Similarly, Sikhs who would enter into an animated discussion over why Sikhs urgently needed Khalistan, when confronted with a situation whereby someone mistook them for an Arab, would call out I'm not an Arab but from India.
Not only do they use this line when fearing a physical assault, but they continuously use it for business enhancement as Indians over the years have carved out a reputation of being hard-working and professional.
"I concede this point", said the Fresno doctor who had got into a heated argument and on the verge of kicking me out of his clinic because of my outburst accusing him has a lunatic expatriate, divorced from ground realities. "But before you leave, answer my one question," he barked? "How do you justify the storming of the Golden Temple, followed by the 1984 Sikh riots?"
A tough one, this!
Khushwant Singh has recently authored 'Sikhs Unlimited' (Rupa & Co). It's a travelogue from UK to USA, featuring fourteen extra ordinary Sikh menand women. This article is an observation, made during the travel.
Posted by Serious KnickKnacker at 8:08 PM 0 comments Links to this post
Labels: Political
Destination Punjab
No amount of flak is reason enough to justify that NRIconclaves, like the one hosted recently, by the Punjab Government and Punjab Chambers of Commerce should not be held, because interact we must.
Having said that, taking this conclave forward, out of the ambit of mere hype, would be something of a challenge which no government has been able to meet, as yet.NRI role in development of Punjab is a 'give and take' phenomenon with the Punjab Government attempting to send a message across that it wasready to meet all the demands, required to make Punjab a preffered destination.
While the NRI's have never failed the 'Punjab Chalo' call, the readiness factor of the Punjab government is always a matter of suspicion. Not that there is any doubt in government's intent, but because of the very way it functions ,the government inadvertentlyputs its own plans in jeopardy.Impolite airport staff, insensitive police and an arrogant bureaucracyhas been some of the main grudges of the NRIs. Given from the business climate the NRIs come from, this treatment does not come as a handy tool to woo them. Perhaps this is exactly what Ujjal Dosanjh, formerPremier of British Columbia, meant when he said, societal change is imperative to attract parvasis.
For many NRI's the attitude only confirms that nothing has changed.A systems check of business environment also does not augur well forNRI investment. Turbulent political climate surely puts them off,reminding them of Punjab's age hold history of power struggles. An ad hoc and opaque system of functioning also ruins Punjab's case. Sample this -a US based software company owned by an Indian has been looking for land in the Mohali IT Park. His fix is that while he is sitting on an investment amount of three million dollars , he cannot, as majorityof the transaction in Punjab is in black money and all his money isaccounted for.Or take NRI Lajpat Rai Munger's case who donated a multi-crore IT centre in Hoshiarpur to the Punjab University just because because he was fed up of corruption. He had set up the institute seven years ago in partnership with California State University, Fresno.
Vision Punjab is a long drawn process, akin to developing a cricket team for the World Cup. Look for quick results and you might end lagging behind even the minnows. Since a start is yet to be made, should Punjab be a destination fornew Gen next knowledge based businesses. Or should it just remain a speculators destination, buying and selling land. Real estate is a great money spinner, but for Gen next businesses and true state building, involving the younger generation Diaspora is imperative.
New Businesses, other than the land lollipop, need infrastructure, HRD resource, high bandwidth, efficient and comfortable transport system,power and roads. Heat, stench, traffic chaos and delays are the other significant deterrents, especially for the young generation. A few years ago a young NRI cardiologist who joined a leading Hospital in Mohali, left in a huff after he was beaten by goons on one of the main highways, while negotiating pot-holes. Taking him as a drunken driver,the doctor was beaten black and blue.
'Agenda Punjab' feel many top notch NRIs should foster to make Punjab a hot destination, where the mind is allowed to flow freely.Something like what a Xerox or Hewlett Packard did to Bay area in SanFrancisco. It has been said that new trends in America are invented inthe Bay Area, amplified in L.A. and then broadcast from New York.Perhaps, that's the way to go for Punjab, powering the mind.
KSINGH'S JOKES - 4
rief Description: Khushwant Singh was born in 1915 in Hadali, Punjab. He was educated at Government College, Lahore, and at King's College and the Inner Temple in London. He practiced at the Lahore High Court for several years before joining the Indian Ministry of External Affairs in 19477. He was sent on diplomatic postings to Canada and London and later went to Paris with UNESCO
He began a distinguished career as a journalist with All India Radio in 1951. Since then he has been founder-editor of Yojna, editor of the Illustrated Weekly of India, editor of the National Herald, and the editor of The Hindustan Times. Today he is India's best known columnist and journalist.
Khushwant Singh has also had an extremely successful career as a writer. Among the works published are classic two-volume history of the Sikhs, several novels - including Train to Pakistan, which won the Grove Press Award for the best work of fiction in 1954, I Shall Not Hear the Nightingale and Delhi - and a number of translated works and non-fiction books on Delhi, nature, and current affairs. His latest novel, The Company of Women, has since been released.
Khushwant Singh was a Member of Parliament from 1980 to 1986. Among other honors he was awarded the Padma Bhushan in 1974 by the President of India. He returned this decoration in 1984 in protest against the Union Government's siege of the Golden Temple, Amritsar.
He began a distinguished career as a journalist with All India Radio in 1951. Since then he has been founder-editor of Yojna, editor of the Illustrated Weekly of India, editor of the National Herald, and the editor of The Hindustan Times. Today he is India's best known columnist and journalist.
Khushwant Singh has also had an extremely successful career as a writer. Among the works published are classic two-volume history of the Sikhs, several novels - including Train to Pakistan, which won the Grove Press Award for the best work of fiction in 1954, I Shall Not Hear the Nightingale and Delhi - and a number of translated works and non-fiction books on Delhi, nature, and current affairs. His latest novel, The Company of Women, has since been released.
Khushwant Singh was a Member of Parliament from 1980 to 1986. Among other honors he was awarded the Padma Bhushan in 1974 by the President of India. He returned this decoration in 1984 in protest against the Union Government's siege of the Golden Temple, Amritsar.
KSINGH'S JOKES - 4
On a hot day in New Delhi (is there any other kind of day in New Delhi?) Two [East] Indian doctors were having a discussion: "I tell you it is spelt W-O-O-M." "NO, it's definitely spelt W-H-O-O-M." An old lady passing by remarked, "Gentlemen, I'm afraid that you're both wrong. It's actually spelt W-O-M-B". One doctor turns to the other and declares, "I bet she's never even SEEN a hippotamus let alone heard one fart underwater!"
Ajit looked up from the paper he was reading and remarked ``These Hindu fundamentalists are going to convert everyone.'' Robert was quite horrified and replied ``But what am I going to do? I'm a Christian!'' To which Ajit advised, after some thought, ``See Dr Manmohan Singh. He will make you partially convertable.''
One of Ajit's servants had twins. Appreciation (of a possible future raise) in his heart, he asked Ajit to give the two girls some English names. ``Call the first one Kate.'' ``And the second?'' ``Duplicate.''
A British officer in Madras noticed that the level in a carefully nutured bottle of sherry was slowly going down. He suspected that his servant was taking a few nips from time to time. To teach him a lesson he quietly topped it up with some urine and then grinned to himself as the level began sinking again. A month later he summoned the bearer and questioned him as to how the level was sinking when he had not touched a drop. The servant explained, ``But master, I put sherry in your soup every evening.''
Yahya Khan, trying to persuade a yokel to volunteer for the Pakistani Air Force, took him inside the aircraft and explained: "You press this yellow button to turn on the engine. Then you press the red one and the plane flies off. It's very simple." ``But how do I bring it down?'' asked the yokel. ``You don't have to bother with that,'' replied Yahya, ``Leave that to the Indian Air Force.''
PIA does not stand for Pakistan International Airlines. It means ``Please inform Allah.'' Then again, AI doesn't denote Air India --- rather it means ``Already informed.''
I am the youngest in the family. My brothers are called Rahmat Elahi (by God's kindness), Barkat Elahi (by God's grace) and Mahbub Elahi (beloved of God). As for me, I am Bas Kar Elahi (God that is enough).
Indian VIPs have recently been warned to take certain precautionary steps to avoid being blown up by terrorists. They have trouble following most of the points suggested.
* don't go to the same hotel or restaurant too often.
* don't walk in the same park at the same time every day.
* don't take the same car to work every day.
* don't sleep with the same person in the same place every night.
A survey was taken on the sexual habits of Mumbaiites (hell I didn't have any problems spelling Bombayites). One question asked what they did after having a good time. 10% said they simply went to sleep. 10% said they had some form of nourishment --- juice, water or a sandwich. The rest said they went home.
A firm of solicitors in Mumbai (funny, why not Delhi?) go under the name of Patel, Patel, Patel and Patel (actually, could just as well be Nairobi or London). The office phone rang and the voice at the other end asked: ``May I speak to Mr Patel?"
``Mr Patel is not in his seat."
``In that case could I speak to the other Mr Patel?''
``The other Mr Patel is out of station.''
``Then put me through to the third Mr Patel.''
``Sorry, the third Mr Patel has gone out for lunch.''
``Okay then I will speak to the last Mr Patel.''
``Patel speaking.''
(dunno if that story is true, but I was once at Mumbai International Airport when one of the officials began calling out for Mr Patel. Half the people around me turned their heads!)
A Sardarji (substitute appropriate tribe if required) is lying across the railway tracks with a bottle of whisky and a tandoori chicken within reach. A passerby asks why he is doing so when a train might come across at any moment. Because I want to commit suicide, replies the Sardar. The passerby then asks about the food and drink nearby. ``Why not? You can't rely on trains running on time any more. You don't expect me to die of hunger and thirst, do you?''
It's amazing the kind of English one sees in the streets. ``Froot Stal'' boasted one place selling ``froot chooce''. Perhaps I would need one on a ``two-wheller'', which was being sold next to a place that dealt with the ``serviec and repair'' of watches. Another sign said ``Do not stick posters here. Stickers will be prosecuted.'' And if you think I have trouble expressing myself, why not advise me to go to the ``National Institute for Stuttering Management and Behaviour Technology''?
Then there was the guy who, when asked to fill out his particulars on a form, wrote in the entry for ``Born'': Yes. And if you enjoyed that, consider this complaint by a passenger who missed his train: ``While me fall down in hurry to ride the going train I was saw the dam guard shouting the whistle and moving the flag (which country it was I didn't know) but he keep standing on the platefarum not try enter to the compartment. Was he go by aeroplan to next stashun?''
On the other hand, making use of other people's poor English is newer. A semi-literate (but rich) businessman wanted to make a donation to a local co-educational school. On hearing this, the head of a local boys' school wrote him the following letter. ``Do you know that in the co-ed school the boys and girls share the same curriculum? Moreover they matriculate together. And worse, they spend most of their time in seminars.'' And worse, the letter worked.
And of course Indlish can be quite useful in finding fake foreign goods. You know, the ones marked Made as England. Which reminds me of a story I once read, about some people who bought a pen in a store. ``Very good pen!'' bubbled the shopkeeper, ``Made in England!'' At which the shoppers showed him the (somehow honest) legend ``Made in India'' on the side of the pen. ``Oh yes,'' he said, quite unfazed. ``We make it here too.''
Wives of two MLAs were busy comparing notes about their spouses. ``Mine can talk hours on any subject!'' exclaimed one. ``That's nothing,'' said the other. ``Mine does not even need a subject to talk about.''
What do the postal envelopes issued by the Indian post office have in common with the Indo-Pak border?
Neither can be sealed.
General Zia was driving around Islamabad when he saw long queues of Pakistanis outside several embassies wanting visas and entry permits to go abroad. He got out of his car and joined a line to find out why so many people wanted to leave. No sooner did people see the President with them that they left the queue to return to their homes. President Zia asked them why they had had the change of heart. They replied: ``If you are leaving Pakistan, there is no reason for us to go.''
When my sister got married my parents were looking for a Bible verse to place on the wedding invitations. Somehow they didn't approve of my selection: ``Forgive them O Lord, they know not what they do.''
Then there was the nervous Tamilian who when asked by the priest at his daughter's wedding ``Who gives this girl away?'' replied ``Her mother, her father and I.'' I am not sure if that was the same wedding at which the malasori song was Cliff Richard's ``Bachelor Boy.''
A minister once described Feroze Gandhi as the Prime Minister's lap-dog. Later he was involved in a financial scandal. Which was when Feroze confronted him. ``Mr X, I hear yuo have been describing me as a lap-dog. You no doubt consider yourself a pillar of the state. Today I will do to you what a dog usually does to a pillar.''
A bunch of American researchers produced the thinnest wire the world had ever seen. They decided to go round the world to show off their invention. First they went to the Japanese, who promptly bore a hole through the wire. Determined to avenge this Asian humiliation, they went to India. Where a Sardar working in his backyard wrote in microscopic letters on it ``Made in India''.
At an International Conference on Crustacea, specimens of various types of crabs were kept in jars in a display laboratory. Each jar was covered at the top to prevent the crabs escaping. I noticed that one jar was uncovered, and immediately rushed to the nearest technician, very alarmed indeed. "Oh, don't worry!" he told me. "Those are Indian crabs. Whenever one of them begins to escape, all the other crabs pull it down. There's not a chance of any of THEM getting out."
A Minister is looking out of the window one morning. After some time he turns to his secretaries and says "My God, this country is getting nowhere. I've been looking at those workmen out there for the past hour and not one has done a stroke of work.
Democracy in India: One Man One Bribe. (Salman Rushdie, the Moor's Last Sigh)
Progress in India: Bribery via Visa.
Krishnan Menon, a lifelong bachelor, was once invited by a family with three kids to join them for a film, as they had got an extra ticket. Sure, that was fine with him and they headed off to the nearest bus stop. The first bus stopped, but there were only three places on board. The second had only four, the third one, and so on. They didn't want to be late so they began walking to the cinema. Menon's walking stick kept going tap tap tap on the ground and the father reprimanded him for it: "Why not put some rubber at the end of your stick so we can walk in peace?" "Ah," said Menon, "You're a fine one to talk. If you'd put one at the end of yours we could have caught a bus."
A foreign businessman is touring a plantation in Bihar. The manager eagerly points out everything, the irrigation system, the plants, etc. The foreigner points to a clump of eucalyptus trees "Those are indigenous trees?" "Oh yes, we got those from Australia."
Ajit looked up from the paper he was reading and remarked ``These Hindu fundamentalists are going to convert everyone.'' Robert was quite horrified and replied ``But what am I going to do? I'm a Christian!'' To which Ajit advised, after some thought, ``See Dr Manmohan Singh. He will make you partially convertable.''
One of Ajit's servants had twins. Appreciation (of a possible future raise) in his heart, he asked Ajit to give the two girls some English names. ``Call the first one Kate.'' ``And the second?'' ``Duplicate.''
A British officer in Madras noticed that the level in a carefully nutured bottle of sherry was slowly going down. He suspected that his servant was taking a few nips from time to time. To teach him a lesson he quietly topped it up with some urine and then grinned to himself as the level began sinking again. A month later he summoned the bearer and questioned him as to how the level was sinking when he had not touched a drop. The servant explained, ``But master, I put sherry in your soup every evening.''
Yahya Khan, trying to persuade a yokel to volunteer for the Pakistani Air Force, took him inside the aircraft and explained: "You press this yellow button to turn on the engine. Then you press the red one and the plane flies off. It's very simple." ``But how do I bring it down?'' asked the yokel. ``You don't have to bother with that,'' replied Yahya, ``Leave that to the Indian Air Force.''
PIA does not stand for Pakistan International Airlines. It means ``Please inform Allah.'' Then again, AI doesn't denote Air India --- rather it means ``Already informed.''
I am the youngest in the family. My brothers are called Rahmat Elahi (by God's kindness), Barkat Elahi (by God's grace) and Mahbub Elahi (beloved of God). As for me, I am Bas Kar Elahi (God that is enough).
Indian VIPs have recently been warned to take certain precautionary steps to avoid being blown up by terrorists. They have trouble following most of the points suggested.
* don't go to the same hotel or restaurant too often.
* don't walk in the same park at the same time every day.
* don't take the same car to work every day.
* don't sleep with the same person in the same place every night.
A survey was taken on the sexual habits of Mumbaiites (hell I didn't have any problems spelling Bombayites). One question asked what they did after having a good time. 10% said they simply went to sleep. 10% said they had some form of nourishment --- juice, water or a sandwich. The rest said they went home.
A firm of solicitors in Mumbai (funny, why not Delhi?) go under the name of Patel, Patel, Patel and Patel (actually, could just as well be Nairobi or London). The office phone rang and the voice at the other end asked: ``May I speak to Mr Patel?"
``Mr Patel is not in his seat."
``In that case could I speak to the other Mr Patel?''
``The other Mr Patel is out of station.''
``Then put me through to the third Mr Patel.''
``Sorry, the third Mr Patel has gone out for lunch.''
``Okay then I will speak to the last Mr Patel.''
``Patel speaking.''
(dunno if that story is true, but I was once at Mumbai International Airport when one of the officials began calling out for Mr Patel. Half the people around me turned their heads!)
A Sardarji (substitute appropriate tribe if required) is lying across the railway tracks with a bottle of whisky and a tandoori chicken within reach. A passerby asks why he is doing so when a train might come across at any moment. Because I want to commit suicide, replies the Sardar. The passerby then asks about the food and drink nearby. ``Why not? You can't rely on trains running on time any more. You don't expect me to die of hunger and thirst, do you?''
It's amazing the kind of English one sees in the streets. ``Froot Stal'' boasted one place selling ``froot chooce''. Perhaps I would need one on a ``two-wheller'', which was being sold next to a place that dealt with the ``serviec and repair'' of watches. Another sign said ``Do not stick posters here. Stickers will be prosecuted.'' And if you think I have trouble expressing myself, why not advise me to go to the ``National Institute for Stuttering Management and Behaviour Technology''?
Then there was the guy who, when asked to fill out his particulars on a form, wrote in the entry for ``Born'': Yes. And if you enjoyed that, consider this complaint by a passenger who missed his train: ``While me fall down in hurry to ride the going train I was saw the dam guard shouting the whistle and moving the flag (which country it was I didn't know) but he keep standing on the platefarum not try enter to the compartment. Was he go by aeroplan to next stashun?''
On the other hand, making use of other people's poor English is newer. A semi-literate (but rich) businessman wanted to make a donation to a local co-educational school. On hearing this, the head of a local boys' school wrote him the following letter. ``Do you know that in the co-ed school the boys and girls share the same curriculum? Moreover they matriculate together. And worse, they spend most of their time in seminars.'' And worse, the letter worked.
And of course Indlish can be quite useful in finding fake foreign goods. You know, the ones marked Made as England. Which reminds me of a story I once read, about some people who bought a pen in a store. ``Very good pen!'' bubbled the shopkeeper, ``Made in England!'' At which the shoppers showed him the (somehow honest) legend ``Made in India'' on the side of the pen. ``Oh yes,'' he said, quite unfazed. ``We make it here too.''
Wives of two MLAs were busy comparing notes about their spouses. ``Mine can talk hours on any subject!'' exclaimed one. ``That's nothing,'' said the other. ``Mine does not even need a subject to talk about.''
What do the postal envelopes issued by the Indian post office have in common with the Indo-Pak border?
Neither can be sealed.
General Zia was driving around Islamabad when he saw long queues of Pakistanis outside several embassies wanting visas and entry permits to go abroad. He got out of his car and joined a line to find out why so many people wanted to leave. No sooner did people see the President with them that they left the queue to return to their homes. President Zia asked them why they had had the change of heart. They replied: ``If you are leaving Pakistan, there is no reason for us to go.''
When my sister got married my parents were looking for a Bible verse to place on the wedding invitations. Somehow they didn't approve of my selection: ``Forgive them O Lord, they know not what they do.''
Then there was the nervous Tamilian who when asked by the priest at his daughter's wedding ``Who gives this girl away?'' replied ``Her mother, her father and I.'' I am not sure if that was the same wedding at which the malasori song was Cliff Richard's ``Bachelor Boy.''
A minister once described Feroze Gandhi as the Prime Minister's lap-dog. Later he was involved in a financial scandal. Which was when Feroze confronted him. ``Mr X, I hear yuo have been describing me as a lap-dog. You no doubt consider yourself a pillar of the state. Today I will do to you what a dog usually does to a pillar.''
A bunch of American researchers produced the thinnest wire the world had ever seen. They decided to go round the world to show off their invention. First they went to the Japanese, who promptly bore a hole through the wire. Determined to avenge this Asian humiliation, they went to India. Where a Sardar working in his backyard wrote in microscopic letters on it ``Made in India''.
At an International Conference on Crustacea, specimens of various types of crabs were kept in jars in a display laboratory. Each jar was covered at the top to prevent the crabs escaping. I noticed that one jar was uncovered, and immediately rushed to the nearest technician, very alarmed indeed. "Oh, don't worry!" he told me. "Those are Indian crabs. Whenever one of them begins to escape, all the other crabs pull it down. There's not a chance of any of THEM getting out."
A Minister is looking out of the window one morning. After some time he turns to his secretaries and says "My God, this country is getting nowhere. I've been looking at those workmen out there for the past hour and not one has done a stroke of work.
Democracy in India: One Man One Bribe. (Salman Rushdie, the Moor's Last Sigh)
Progress in India: Bribery via Visa.
Krishnan Menon, a lifelong bachelor, was once invited by a family with three kids to join them for a film, as they had got an extra ticket. Sure, that was fine with him and they headed off to the nearest bus stop. The first bus stopped, but there were only three places on board. The second had only four, the third one, and so on. They didn't want to be late so they began walking to the cinema. Menon's walking stick kept going tap tap tap on the ground and the father reprimanded him for it: "Why not put some rubber at the end of your stick so we can walk in peace?" "Ah," said Menon, "You're a fine one to talk. If you'd put one at the end of yours we could have caught a bus."
A foreign businessman is touring a plantation in Bihar. The manager eagerly points out everything, the irrigation system, the plants, etc. The foreigner points to a clump of eucalyptus trees "Those are indigenous trees?" "Oh yes, we got those from Australia."
KSINGH"S JOKES - 3
(1) Beast of burden
A Haryanvi peasant was walking down the road carrying a heavy sack of grain on his head. A kindly sardar farmer drawing his bullock cart offered him a lift. The Haryanvi gratefully accepted the offer and sat down in the cart but kept the sack on his head.
‘Chaudhury, why don’t you put the sack down in the gadda?’
‘Sardarji’, replied the Haryanvi, ‘your cart is already heavily loaded. I don’t want to put more burden on your poor bullock’.
(2) A Haryanvi riddle
A Haryana Jat who had been irritated by his failure to answer any of the riddles put to him by a clever bania said angrily: ‘All right, now you answer this riddle: What is hung on a wall, is red, drips and speaks?
After a while the bania admitted he did not know the answer.
‘It is a picture!’, said the Jat triumphantly.
‘A picture?’ It can be hung on a wall but it is not always red’, protested the bania.
‘Then paint it red.’
‘A picture doesn’t drip; its dry’, protested the bania again.
‘Put fresh paint on it and it will drip’.
‘But whoever heard of a picture talk!’
‘That’s right!’, replied the Jat, ‘I added that to make sure a cunning bania like you would not get the answer’.
(3) Peasant’s illness
A Haryanvi peasant being taken ill came to Delhi and was admitted to the All India Institute of Medical Sciences. Internee medical students came round in turns to examine him. Being Bengalis, Tamils and Punjabis none of them could understand what the ailing Haryanavi was saying to them in his dialect. Ultimately a Haryanvi lad working as a compounder in the hospital pharmacy came in and asked, “Taoo, tainey kay ho gaya(Uncle what’s gone wrong with you)?”
The peasant beamed: “Rey chhoray, daktar to too sey, bakee to sab kampoder laagain sey (O boy, you must be the real doctor, those others appear to be compounders).”
A Haryanvi peasant was walking down the road carrying a heavy sack of grain on his head. A kindly sardar farmer drawing his bullock cart offered him a lift. The Haryanvi gratefully accepted the offer and sat down in the cart but kept the sack on his head.
‘Chaudhury, why don’t you put the sack down in the gadda?’
‘Sardarji’, replied the Haryanvi, ‘your cart is already heavily loaded. I don’t want to put more burden on your poor bullock’.
(2) A Haryanvi riddle
A Haryana Jat who had been irritated by his failure to answer any of the riddles put to him by a clever bania said angrily: ‘All right, now you answer this riddle: What is hung on a wall, is red, drips and speaks?
After a while the bania admitted he did not know the answer.
‘It is a picture!’, said the Jat triumphantly.
‘A picture?’ It can be hung on a wall but it is not always red’, protested the bania.
‘Then paint it red.’
‘A picture doesn’t drip; its dry’, protested the bania again.
‘Put fresh paint on it and it will drip’.
‘But whoever heard of a picture talk!’
‘That’s right!’, replied the Jat, ‘I added that to make sure a cunning bania like you would not get the answer’.
(3) Peasant’s illness
A Haryanvi peasant being taken ill came to Delhi and was admitted to the All India Institute of Medical Sciences. Internee medical students came round in turns to examine him. Being Bengalis, Tamils and Punjabis none of them could understand what the ailing Haryanavi was saying to them in his dialect. Ultimately a Haryanvi lad working as a compounder in the hospital pharmacy came in and asked, “Taoo, tainey kay ho gaya(Uncle what’s gone wrong with you)?”
The peasant beamed: “Rey chhoray, daktar to too sey, bakee to sab kampoder laagain sey (O boy, you must be the real doctor, those others appear to be compounders).”
KSINGH"S JOKES - 2
Stolen from Khushwant Singh's Joke Book I.
A priest was playing golf with a taxi-driver (don't ask me why, I only write here). Whenever the latter played a bad shot, he would break into a deluge of profanity. The priest warned him against this and later threatened divine retribution if he continued. Which he did the next time he missed a sitter. ``Bloody f*ing hell, missed again!" yelled the driver, upon which a bolt of lightning immediately reduced the priest to ashes. The merely ashen-faced driver looked up to the heavens. Just in time to hear a deep voice say ``Bloody f*ing hell, missed again!"
A goalkeeper was walking down a street when he saw a house on fire. Rushing there, he saw a woman with a baby in her arms trapped on the third floor. He told her that, his job being what it was, he would catch the baby. After a little hesitation, she dropped the infant. The goalie caught it expertly, and in true reflexive fashion, moved a few steps with it before kicking the little brat into the distance.
A visitor to Espana was not impressed when he was told that bull-fighting was the most popular sport there. ``It's bloody revolting!'' he exclaimed. Unruffled, the Spaniard promptly replied ``Actually, revolting is our second most popular sport.''
Kruschev was busy denouncing Stalin at a public meeting when a voice shouted out ``If you feel this way now, why didn't you say so then?'' To which the Soviet leader thundered ``Who said that?'' There was a long and petrified silence which Kruschev finally broke. ``Now you know why.''
Mao was once asked what he thought would have happened if Kruschev had died instead of Kennedy. ``Well,'' he replied after much deliberation, ``I doubt if Aristotle Onassis would have married Mrs. Kruschev.''
A bunch of city dwellers go to the country, where a sign in a national park urges them to ``keep still and listen to the silence.'' After a while one turns to his wife and asks ``I can't hear anything, can you?''
Two IRA men were driving to a spot with a bomb in their car. ``Don't travel so rashly! You may set off the bomb!'' cautioned one. To which the other Paddy replied ``Don't worry, we have a spare bomb in the boot.'
A man was praying to God.
He said, "God!?"
God responded, "Yes?"
And the guy said, "Can I ask a question?"
"Go right ahead," God said.
"God, what is a million years to you?"
God said, "a million years to me is only a second."
"Hmmm," the man wondered. Then he asked, "God, what is a million dollars worth to you?"
God said, "a million dollars to me is as a penny."
So the man said, "God. can I have a penny?"
And God cheerfully said, "Sure!!.....just a second."
Quoted in the Wall St. Journal --"I'm proud to say that my kids have proved time and again that they're reliable and trustworthy. Not once have they ever jumped bail."
Patient to eye doctor: " I'm very worried about the outcome of this operation,doctor. What are the chances? "
Eye doctor to patient: " Don't worry you won't be able to see the difference.
Bill Clinton was walking along the beach when he stumbled upon a Genie's lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and lo-and-behold a real Genie appeared. Bill was amazed and asked if he got three wishes. The Genie said, "Nope...not these days...I'm only giving out 1 wish because of inflation. So...what'll be?"
Bill didn't hesitate. He said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other."
The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Gadzooks, man! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm good but I'm not THAT good. I don't think it can be done. So make another wish."
Bill thought for a minute and said, "You know, people really don't like my wife. They think she's a real bitch and ugly as sin. I wish for her to be the most beautiful woman in the world and I want everybody to like her. That's what I want."
The Genie thought for a minute and said, "Hhhmmm. Lemme see that map again."
Harry Swartz is on his death bed, his wife Selda is by his side: "Selda, you've always been by my side"
"When I broke my leg at 25; you were by my side"
"When I had my first heart attack at 45; you were by my side"
"When I had my second heart attack at 65; you were by my side"
"When I broke my hip at 75; you were by my side"
"And now when I'm dying; you are at my side"........... "Selda, you're a fucking jinx!!"
Q:why did the koala fall out of the tree?
A:it was dead
Q:why did the second koala fall out of the tree?
A:he got hit by the first koala
Q:why did the third koala fall out of the tree?
A:he thought it was a game
Q:why did the Australian fall off his bike?
A:he got hit in the head by three falling koalas
An 80 year old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor asked him how he was feeling.
"I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?"
The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day went out in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun. So he was in the woods and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle." "And do you know what happened?" the doctor queried.
Dumbfounded, the old man replied "No".
The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!"
"That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man. "Someone else must have shot that bear."
"That's kind of what I'm getting at..." replied the doctor. '
A priest was playing golf with a taxi-driver (don't ask me why, I only write here). Whenever the latter played a bad shot, he would break into a deluge of profanity. The priest warned him against this and later threatened divine retribution if he continued. Which he did the next time he missed a sitter. ``Bloody f*ing hell, missed again!" yelled the driver, upon which a bolt of lightning immediately reduced the priest to ashes. The merely ashen-faced driver looked up to the heavens. Just in time to hear a deep voice say ``Bloody f*ing hell, missed again!"
A goalkeeper was walking down a street when he saw a house on fire. Rushing there, he saw a woman with a baby in her arms trapped on the third floor. He told her that, his job being what it was, he would catch the baby. After a little hesitation, she dropped the infant. The goalie caught it expertly, and in true reflexive fashion, moved a few steps with it before kicking the little brat into the distance.
A visitor to Espana was not impressed when he was told that bull-fighting was the most popular sport there. ``It's bloody revolting!'' he exclaimed. Unruffled, the Spaniard promptly replied ``Actually, revolting is our second most popular sport.''
Kruschev was busy denouncing Stalin at a public meeting when a voice shouted out ``If you feel this way now, why didn't you say so then?'' To which the Soviet leader thundered ``Who said that?'' There was a long and petrified silence which Kruschev finally broke. ``Now you know why.''
Mao was once asked what he thought would have happened if Kruschev had died instead of Kennedy. ``Well,'' he replied after much deliberation, ``I doubt if Aristotle Onassis would have married Mrs. Kruschev.''
A bunch of city dwellers go to the country, where a sign in a national park urges them to ``keep still and listen to the silence.'' After a while one turns to his wife and asks ``I can't hear anything, can you?''
Two IRA men were driving to a spot with a bomb in their car. ``Don't travel so rashly! You may set off the bomb!'' cautioned one. To which the other Paddy replied ``Don't worry, we have a spare bomb in the boot.'
A man was praying to God.
He said, "God!?"
God responded, "Yes?"
And the guy said, "Can I ask a question?"
"Go right ahead," God said.
"God, what is a million years to you?"
God said, "a million years to me is only a second."
"Hmmm," the man wondered. Then he asked, "God, what is a million dollars worth to you?"
God said, "a million dollars to me is as a penny."
So the man said, "God. can I have a penny?"
And God cheerfully said, "Sure!!.....just a second."
Quoted in the Wall St. Journal --"I'm proud to say that my kids have proved time and again that they're reliable and trustworthy. Not once have they ever jumped bail."
Patient to eye doctor: " I'm very worried about the outcome of this operation,doctor. What are the chances? "
Eye doctor to patient: " Don't worry you won't be able to see the difference.
Bill Clinton was walking along the beach when he stumbled upon a Genie's lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and lo-and-behold a real Genie appeared. Bill was amazed and asked if he got three wishes. The Genie said, "Nope...not these days...I'm only giving out 1 wish because of inflation. So...what'll be?"
Bill didn't hesitate. He said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other."
The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Gadzooks, man! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm good but I'm not THAT good. I don't think it can be done. So make another wish."
Bill thought for a minute and said, "You know, people really don't like my wife. They think she's a real bitch and ugly as sin. I wish for her to be the most beautiful woman in the world and I want everybody to like her. That's what I want."
The Genie thought for a minute and said, "Hhhmmm. Lemme see that map again."
Harry Swartz is on his death bed, his wife Selda is by his side: "Selda, you've always been by my side"
"When I broke my leg at 25; you were by my side"
"When I had my first heart attack at 45; you were by my side"
"When I had my second heart attack at 65; you were by my side"
"When I broke my hip at 75; you were by my side"
"And now when I'm dying; you are at my side"........... "Selda, you're a fucking jinx!!"
Q:why did the koala fall out of the tree?
A:it was dead
Q:why did the second koala fall out of the tree?
A:he got hit by the first koala
Q:why did the third koala fall out of the tree?
A:he thought it was a game
Q:why did the Australian fall off his bike?
A:he got hit in the head by three falling koalas
An 80 year old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor asked him how he was feeling.
"I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?"
The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day went out in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun. So he was in the woods and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle." "And do you know what happened?" the doctor queried.
Dumbfounded, the old man replied "No".
The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!"
"That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man. "Someone else must have shot that bear."
"That's kind of what I'm getting at..." replied the doctor. '
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